#there have been loose adaptations of originals before that actually WORK and are AMAZING
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Bucchigiri?! Episode 5 Review - Arajin Is Insufferable
I still stand by my opinion of Arajin being Hiroko Utsumi’s weakest written protagonist. If you look at her past works, you can see that they all have some sort of characteristic out of their usual schtick; well, two of Utsumi’s works are adaptations (Free! Is a loose adaptation of a light novel called High Speed and Banana Fish is a manga to anime adaptation) and SK8 is her first original work, but you get what I mean. Five episodes in and he still hasn’t done anything substantial. All he does is fall for the same tricks and tropes. Like, why is he even the MC? Matakara or Mahoro would make better MCs than him.
Like, I get that Arajin’s skirt-chasing and cowardly demeanor has to do with not being manly enough to protect a young Matakara in his childhood, but if he wants to get stronger, he has to stop falling for the same things. He couldn’t protect Matakara when he was younger, but he still can’t protect him in his current state—heck, he won’t even protect him! I can’t fault Utsumi for this because she’s not the writer for this anime. The writer is Taku Kishimoto, who wrote the screenplays for animes like Blue Lock, Ranking of Kings, The Millionaire Detective Balance, and Moriarity the Patriot. I’ve heard people rave about these anime (well, Blue Lock anime is a bit mixed) so why is this one so frustratingly written? Still, as a director, Utsumi should know when to have the MC develop and what not—next week is the halfway point as there will be 12 episodes.
Alright, enough about Arajin, let’s talk about the star of this episode, Akutaro. I think he’s very interesting. He used to be in Minato Kai, but got kicked out due to using underhanded methods. He once admired Kenichiro as he was a strong, manly guy while he was a thin, dainty and unreliable one back then. Getting kicked out changed him drastically as he became more violent and hell bent on getting revenge. I do wonder how much of his chaotic personality comes from the blue genie because I know for a fact that the mind control aspect of the NG Boys army is from magic genie powers. I think that Arajin isn’t aware that Akutaro is manipulating him. He’s being all nice to him after learning about his virginity and cozying up to him to get him in his favor. All the stuff he said about Mahoro was to rile him up purposely, as he had a hunch Arajin was possessed by Senya. Also, the casting director should get a raise because Chihiro Suzuki as Akutaro is a 10/10 casting. Suzuki really delivers on the flamboyant but also devious aspect of this character. Like, I always known him as Kisumi from Free and Luke and Asch from Tales of the Abyss, so to have him voice this character who’s completely different from his usual roles was a joy to listen to; I can tell he was having fun recording! I especially loved him speaking English when explaining the E-4 motto; the way he said Ecstasy was amazing.
I feel so bad for Matakara in a way. Like, he is deluded into believing Arajin is the same person as before, but every single time he has his hopes up, Arajin just plummets down in terms of expectation. This episode is where he is a bit more action-heavy as he tries to beat Akutaro, but loses and gets tied up. I wonder when the breaking point is for him because the opening does seem like he’s going to get possessed by Ichiya or something. The question is when and how that’s going to happen. I’m glad that Zabu is a good person who is able to sense what’s wrong and to admit his mistakes. He’s a better friend to Matakara than Arajin.
I wonder if we’ll get some Kenichiro backstory later on because out of the important gang leaders, he is the least developed so far. All I know is that he’s been held back three times and that he’s rather honorable. I also predict that Jasmine-chan is actually a cat and the place the teacher goes to every episode is a rather high end cat cafe. If it’s not a cat cafe, then it’s probably a gay brothel for bottoms as “neko” (cat) is Japanese gay slang for bottoms. I’m leaning more towards an actual cat cafe given the fancy cat sign.
What is going to happen now that the gang war is starting? What are your thoughts on this episode?
#bucchigiri?!#arajin tomoshibi#matakara asamine#senya#Akutaro shindou#review#anime#anime review#arum journal#ecargmura
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Barbie in The Nutcracker (2001)
This was the very first movie in this franchise, and you can certainly tell.
Pixar quality this is not.
I should preface this by saying that I absolutely adored this movie as a child. It was not my absolute favorite, but probably in third place. Like all my childhood favorites, this was one of the reasons I was extremely obsessed with ballet as a child, and frankly secretly still kinda am. So does it hold up?
Yes! … Mostly.
This movie is a loose adaptation of the ballet The Nutcracker, telling the story of Clara and a prince-turned-nutcracker defeating the evil Mouse King. The actual similarities with the source material are few and far between, but perhaps I should note now that I generally do not care much for accuracy when it comes to adaptations like these. As long as the basic building blocks are there and the movie still works by itself, it’s fine. There certainly is a level of inaccuracy where even I have to complain (hint hint, you’ll see that in the next review), but every single change this movie has made is, in my opinion, a good one. The ballet is basically just one act that is the beginning scene of this movie, and then one act of partying, which wouldn’t have made a particularly great movie. So let’s get on with it then.
This is the movie of Clara, who lives with her younger brother at their grandfather’s house. For Christmas, she is gifted a wooden Nutcracker in the shape of a man by her visiting aunt. That night, her house is invaded by an army of mice, led by the Mouse King, who puts a spell on her that shrinks her to the mice’s size. She has to travel to the land of Parthenia after she is cursed to be tiny by the Mouse King, together with the suddenly-alive Nutcracker to find the Sugar Plum Princess, who may help them defeat the King and break the spells put on them. The Nutcracker is revealed to actually be Prince Eric, a human man and the long-lost heir to the throne of Parthenia, cursed into this form by the Mouse King. They manage to defeat the King by themselves, and it turns out that Clara was the Sugar Plum Princess all along. Even though she wants to stay in Parthenia, she is forced to return home and at first is led to believe that everything that happened was only a dream, until the real Prince Eric visits her at home and they share a dance together.
So, you really can’t talk about this movie without bringing up the animation. Yes, it’s bad. A lot of the characters are pretty ugly (the Nutcracker is the only one that really holds up, but he does hold up pretty well) and the environments aren’t that nice-looking either. That being said, I don’t care too much for it (though it does make it hard to enjoy the pretty gif sets sometimes). This was 2001 and pretty low-budget, and who knows how much money they spent on Tim Curry or the mo-cap dancing (which is fantastic, by the way). The original Toy Story frankly also doesn’t look amazing anymore, and Pixar definitely had a way higher budget.
The first thing that really got to me was how slow the start of the movie is. Despite my immense nostalgia, I really struggled to stay interested during the beginning. The really ugly pink/red overtone in the scenes in Clara’s home certainly doesn’t help.
I think it was supposed to make the environment look warm and homely, but I just felt like my retinas had somehow been burned out right before I started the movie.
In addition, wow, something was off with the sound. There are scenes that feel incredibly awkward and silent, and I’m pretty sure what I was noticing was a noticeable lack of background music and/or good sound effects in certain places. I’ll fully admit that I’m not an expert and maybe I’m blaming the sound design/mixing when it was actually something different, but this is the only movie that has this problem and this was the only difference I could pinpoint.
With all the negative stuff out of the way, the movie picks up hard as soon as they get to Parthenia. The sound problem persists, but things actually get a little more interesting, and we get rid of the pink filter of death. I also have to admit that watching every character they come across absolutely roast the shit out of Prince Eric while he just kind of has to stand there and take it is way funnier than it has any right to be.
tfw the little boy in a gingerbread costume just called you a bitch-ass motherfucker
One plot point that really surprised me upon rewatch was how early Clara called out the Nutcracker’s identity. At that point, we had already met a few of the side characters, and we got to see him reacting somewhat gloomy whenever they complained about Prince Eric. I absolutely expected the movie to try and treat him actually being the guy as some kind of super secret twist because sometimes kids’ movies just are like that. Instead, it’s revealed around 25 minutes in by Clara going up to him and basically saying “Sooo, you’re Prince Eric, right?” Maybe I’ve just watched too many bad children’s movies, but I appreciated the writers respecting the viewers enough to not genuinely expect them to be absolutely stupid, even if the movies are made for little kids.
The voice-acting is generally great. Kelly Sheridan makes her first appearance as Barbie and she is my absolute queen, and the late Kirby Morrow (RIP) brings a great gentle energy to the Nutcracker. He’s 100% my favorite character in this movie and also the best part of it. He’s charming, he’s genuinely very kind, and his grappling with his own responsibilities and mistakes is actually pretty interesting. In short:
Unfortunately, this movie does have that “Beauty and the Beast” effect of growing so attached to a character’s design that it feels jarring when he’s suddenly human again and looks incredibly different. It doesn’t help that Prince Eric the Human looks like he was designed by having an AI create a Sims3-era Sim with no instructions other than “man”.
Oh, obviously I can’t bring up the voice acting without mentioning Tim Curry as the Mouse King. I don’t know if he’s cheaper to get than I assume or if Mattel really wanted a recognizable name for their villain’s voice actor. Needless to say, he’s fantastic, and he makes the Mouse King a lot of fun to watch.
Now, one thing I’m kinda iffy on is the ending. “It was all a dream” is an extremely tired trope, and “It was all a dream, but actually it wasn’t" is only slightly less tired. I was also honestly hoping for a slightly more ambiguous ending, but then my hopes were crushed by Eric handing her the locket and basically confirming everything was real.
To elaborate, I think her just waking up without Eric showing up again would have probably been too sad for a movie whose main demographic is going to be very young girls, and I don’t think I would’ve liked it either. I do think it could’ve been more interesting though if they hadn’t made it completely obvious that this is indeed the same Prince Eric and her “dream” was real. I mean, it still would have been fairly obvious without the locket, but I think it could’ve been ambiguous enough to spur on some heated playground discussions if Clara just has very strange clairvoyant dreams. Maybe I’m off about this, maybe it would have been worse than I think, but hey, adult me would appreciate it. As it is now, I’m just wondering if Prince Eric gave up his position as king again or if he’s somehow going to kidnap her back to Parthenia (again).
Overall, this was a nice watch, with a slight bonus for nostalgia and great music (only slight because it’s not actually an original soundtrack). This movie isn’t going to be in the great section of the ranking, but certainly still in the good part. Out of any of the first three, this is the one most likely to be moved up when we get further into the ranking. Oh, and I want to point out any and all gayness in these movies when I see it, so let me say that while there’s really no WLW stuff, Major Mint and Captain Candy are clearly married, and since to me all fictional characters are bi until proven otherwise, all of Barbie’s canon ships are bi4bi and you can't change my mind.
I mean, in hindsight I am somewhat unsure what to think about Captain Candy’s design. I don’t want to call it p̴̓̀̆̓̃̍͜r̵̟̠̭͈͑́̇̅̎o̵̗͇͓̫̜̐͠b̴͔̐̈́̈́l̶̰̅̈̓e̷̛͈̟̙̺̓̈̅͝m̶̧͈̭̯͔͉̓͑a̷͇̋͂̆̏t̴̪̬̤̊́̏́̒i̶̬̱̘̗̋̑͌̑͗̕c̵̱̳̟̄̓̈̇̐ͅ, but it certainly wouldn’t fly today. But also, wow, I completely missed the fact he literally has a rainbow feather(?) attached to his turban.
A little fruity, I gotta be honest.
Sadly, this movie already starts a tradition in this franchise which is going to get very, very annoying very soon: random little fairies, and animal sidekicks. I always hate the random pixie characters these movies have, and I also hate most of the animal sidekicks. Barbie actually didn’t have one in this movie, but the Mouse King’s bat henchman fills that role, and he’s only tolerable because he’s a villain and therefore allowed to be more fun.
Oh well, my hate of annoying animal sidekicks sure won’t bite me in the ass in the next movie already, right?
… Right?
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‘The Hunchback of Notre Dame’ at 25: An Oral History of Disney’s Darkest Animated Classic
Posted on Slashfilm on Monday, June 21st, 2021 by Josh Spiegel
“This Is Going to Change Your Life”
The future directors of The Hunchback of Notre Dame were riding high from the success of Beauty and the Beast. Or, at least, they were happy to be finished.
Gary Trousdale, director: After Beauty and the Beast, I was exhausted. Plus, Kirk and I were not entirely trusted at first, because we were novices. I was looking forward to going back to drawing.
Kirk Wise, director: It was this crazy, wonderful roller-coaster ride. I had all this vacation time and I took a couple months off.
Gary Trousdale: A little later, it was suggested: “If you want to get back into directing, start looking for a project. You can’t sit around doing nothing.”
Kirk Wise: [Songwriters] Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty had a pitch called Song of the Sea, a loose retelling of the Orpheus myth with humpback whales. I thought it was very strong.
Gary Trousdale: We were a few months in, and there was artwork and a rough draft. There were a couple tentative songs, and we were getting a head of steam.
Kirk Wise: The phone rang. It was Jeffrey [Katzenberg, then-chairman of Walt Disney Studios], saying, “Drop everything. I got your next picture: The Hunchback of Notre Dame.”
Gary Trousdale: “I’ve already got Alan Menken and Stephen Schwartz. You’re going to do this.” It wasn’t like we were given a choice. It was, “Here’s the project. You’re on.”
Kirk Wise: I was pleased that [Jeffrey] was so excited about it. I think the success of Beauty and the Beast had a lot to do with him pushing it our way. It would’ve been crazy to say no.
Gary Trousdale: What [Kirk and I] didn’t know is that Alan and Stephen were being used as bait for us. And Jeffrey was playing us as bait for Alan and Stephen.
Alan Menken, composer: Jeffrey made reference to it being Michael Eisner’s passion project, which implied he was less enthused about it as a story source for an animated picture.
Stephen Schwartz, lyricist: They had two ideas. One was an adaptation of Hunchback and the other was about whales. We chose Hunchback. I’d seen the [Charles Laughton] movie. Then I read the novel and really liked it.
Peter Schneider, president of Disney Feature Animation (1985-99): I think what attracted Stephen was the darkness. One’s lust for something and one’s power and vengeance, and this poor, helpless fellow, Quasimodo.
Roy Conli, co-producer: I was working at the Mark Taper Forum in Los Angeles, doing new play development. I was asked if I’d thought about producing animation. I said, “Yeah, sure.”
Don Hahn, producer: The goose had laid lots of golden eggs. The studio was trying to create two units so they could have multiple films come out. Roy was tasked with something hard, to build a crew out of whole cloth.
Kirk Wise: The idea appealed to me because [of] the setting and main character. I worked with an elder story man, Joe Grant, [who] goes back to Snow White. He said, “Some of the best animation ideas are about a little guy with a big problem.” Hunchback fit that bill.
Gary Trousdale: It’s a story I always liked. When Jeffrey said, “This is going to change your life,” Kirk and I said, “Cool.” When I was a kid, I [had an] Aurora Monster Model of Quasimodo lashed to the wheel. I thought, “He’s not a monster.”
Don Hahn: It’s a great piece of literature and it had a lot of elements I liked. The underdog hero. [He] was not a handsome prince. I loved the potential.
Gary Trousdale: We thought, “What are we going to do to make this dark piece of literature into a Disney cartoon without screwing it up?”
Peter Schneider: The subject matter is very difficult. The conflict was how far to go with it or not go with it. This is basically [about] a pederast who says “Fuck me or you’ll die.” Right?
“We Were Able to Take More Chances”
Wise and Trousdale recruited a group of disparate artists from the States and beyond to bring the story of Quasimodo the bell-ringer to animated life.
Paul Brizzi, sequence director: We were freshly arrived from Paris.
Gaëtan Brizzi, sequence director: [The filmmakers] were looking for a great dramatic prologue, and they couldn’t figure [it] out. Paul and I spent the better part of the night conceiving this prologue. They said, “You have to storyboard it. We love it.”
Roy Conli: We had two amazing artists in Paul and Gaëtan Brizzi who became spiritual leaders in the production. They were so incredible.
Gaëtan Brizzi: [“The Bells of Notre Dame”] was not supposed to be a song first.
Paul Brizzi: The prologue was traditional in the Disney way. Gaëtan and I were thinking of German expressionism to emphasize the drama. I’m not sure we could do that today.
Paul Kandel, voice of Clopin: They were toying with Clopin being the narrator. So they wrote “The Bells of Notre Dame” to open the movie.
Stephen Schwartz: [Alan and I] got called into a presentation, and on all these boards [was] laid out “The Bells of Notre Dame.” We musicalized the story they put up there. We used the pieces of dialogue they invented for Frollo and the other characters. I wrote lyrics that described the narrative. It was very exciting. I had never written a song like that.
Kirk Wise: Early on, we [took] a research trip with the core creative team to Paris. We spent two weeks all over Notre Dame. They gave us unrestricted access, going down into the catacombs. That was a huge inspiration.
Don Hahn: To crawl up in the bell towers and imagine Quasimodo there, to see the bells and the timbers, the scale of it all is unbelievable.
Kirk Wise: One morning, I was listening to this pipe organ in this shadowy cathedral, with light filtering through the stained-glass windows. The sound was so powerful, I could feel it thudding in my chest. I thought, “This is what the movie needs to feel like.”
Brenda Chapman, story: It was fun to sit in a room and draw and think up stuff. I liked the idea of this lonely character up in a bell tower and how we could portray his imagination.
Kathy Zielinski, supervising animator, Frollo: It was the earliest I’ve ever started on a production. I was doing character designs for months. I did a lot of design work for the gargoyles, as a springboard for the other supervisors.
James Baxter, supervising animator, Quasimodo: Kirk and Gary said, “We’d like you to do Quasimodo.” [I thought] that would be such a cool, amazing thing to do. They wanted this innocent vibe to him. Part of the design process was getting that part of his character to read.
Will Finn, head of story/supervising animator, Laverne: Kirk and Gary wanted me on the project. Kirk, Gary, and Don Hahn gave me opportunities no one else would have, and I am forever grateful.
Kathy Zielinski: I spent several months doing 50 or 60 designs [for Frollo]. I looked at villainous actors. Actually, one was Peter Schneider. [laughing] Not to say he’s a villain, but a lot of the mannerisms and poses. “Oh, that looks a little like Peter.”
James Baxter: I was doing design work on the characters with Tony Fucile, the animator on Esmerelda. I think Kirk and Gary felt Beauty and the Beast had been disparate and the characters weren’t as unified as they wanted.
Kathy Zielinski: Frollo stemmed from Hans Conried [the voice of Disney’s Captain Hook]. He had a longish nose and a very stern-looking face. Frollo was modeled a little bit after him.
Will Finn: The team they put together was a powerhouse group – Brenda Chapman, Kevin Harkey, Ed Gombert, and veterans like Burny Mattinson and Vance Gerry. I felt funny being their “supervisor.”
Kathy Zielinski: Half my crew was in France, eight hours ahead. We were able to do phone calls. But because of the time difference, our end of the day was their beginning of the morning. I was working a lot of late hours, because [Frollo] was challenging to draw.
Kirk Wise: Our secret weapon was James Baxter, who animated the ballroom sequence [in Beauty and the Beast] on his own. He had a unique gift of rotating characters in three-dimensional space perfectly.
Gary Trousdale: James Baxter is, to my mind, one of the greatest living animators in the world.
James Baxter: I’ve always enjoyed doing things that were quite elaborate in terms of camera movement and three-dimensional space. I’m a glutton for punishment, because those shots are very hard to do.
Gary Trousdale: In the scene with Quasimodo carrying Esmeralda over his shoulder, climbing up the cathedral, he looks back under his arms, snarling at the crowd below. James called that his King Kong moment.
As production continued, Roy Conli’s position shifted, as Don Hahn joined the project, and Jeffrey Katzenberg left Disney in heated fashion in 1994.
Roy Conli: Jeffrey was going to create his own animation studio. Peter Schneider was interested in maintaining a relationship with Don Hahn. We were into animation, ahead of schedule. They asked Don if he would produce and if I would run the studio in Paris.
Don Hahn: Roy hadn’t done an animated film before. I was able to be a more senior presence. I’d worked with Kirk and Gary before, which I enjoy. They’re unsung heroes of these movies.
Kirk Wise: The [production] pace was more leisurely. As leisurely as these things can be. We had more breathing room to develop the storyboards and the script and the songs.
Gary Trousdale: Jeffrey never liked characters to have facial hair. No beards, no mustaches, nothing. There’s original designs of Gaston [with] a little Errol Flynn mustache. Jeffrey hated it. “I don’t want any facial hair.” Once he left, we were like, “We could give [Phoebus] a beard now.”
Kirk Wise: The ballroom sequence [in Beauty] gave us confidence to incorporate more computer graphics into Hunchback. We [had] to create the illusion of a throng of thousands of cheering people. To do it by hand would have been prohibitive, and look cheap.
Stephen Schwartz: Michael Eisner started being more hands-on. Michael was annoyed at me for a while, because when Jeffrey left, I accepted the job of doing the score for Prince of Egypt. I got fired from Mulan because of it. But once he fired me, Michael couldn’t have been a more supportive, positive colleague on Hunchback.
Kirk Wise: [The executives] were distracted. We were able to take more chances than we would have under the circumstances that we made Beauty and the Beast.
Don Hahn: Hunchback was in a league of its own, feeling like we [could] step out and take some creative risks. We could have done princess movies forever, and been reasonably successful. Our long-term survival relied on trying those risks.
One sticking point revolved around Notre Dame’s gargoyles, three of whom interact with Quasimodo, but feel more lighthearted than the rest of the dark story.
Gary Trousdale: In the book and several of the movies, Quasimodo talks to the gargoyles. We thought, “This is Disney, we’re doing a cartoon. The gargoyles can talk back.” One thing led to another and we’ve got “A Guy Like You.”
Kirk Wise: “A Guy Like You” was literally created so we could lighten the mood so the audience wasn’t sitting in this trough of despair for so long.
Stephen Schwartz: Out of context, the number is pretty good. I think I wrote some funny lyrics. But ultimately it was a step too far tonally for the movie and it has been dropped from the stage version.
Gary Trousdale: People have been asking for a long time: are they real? Are they part of Quasimodo’s personality? There were discussions that maybe Quasimodo is schizophrenic. We never definitively answered it, and can argue convincingly both ways.
Jason Alexander, voice of Hugo: I wouldn’t dream of interfering with anyone’s choice on that. It’s ambiguous for a reason and part of that reason is the viewers’ participation in the answer. Whatever you believe about it, I’m going to say you’re right.
Brenda Chapman: I left before they landed on how [to play] the gargoyles. My concern was, what are the rules? Are they real? Are they in his imagination? What can they do? Can they do stuff or is it all Quasi? I looked at it a little askance in the finished film. I wasn’t sure if I liked how it ended up…[Laverne] with the boa on the piano.
Kirk Wise: There was a component of the audience that felt the gargoyles were incompatible with Hunchback. But all of Disney’s movies, including the darkest ones, have comic-relief characters. And Disney was the last person to treat the written word as gospel.
“A Fantastic Opportunity”
After a successful collaboration on Pocahontas, Menken and Schwartz worked on turning Victor Hugo’s tragic story into a musical.
Alan Menken: The world of the story was very appealing, and it had so much social relevance and cultural nuance.
Stephen Schwartz: The story lent itself quite well to musicalization because of the extremity of the characters and the emotions. There was a lot to sing about. There was a great milieu.
Alan Menken: To embed the liturgy of the Catholic Church into a piece of music that’s operatic and also classical and pop-oriented enriches it in a very original way. Stephen was amazing. He would take the theme from the story and specifically set it in Latin to that music.
Stephen Schwartz: The fact that we were doing a piece set in a church allowed us to use all those elements of the Catholic mass, and for Alan to do all that wonderful choral music.
Alan Menken: The first creative impulse was “Out There.” I’m a craftsman. I’m working towards a specific assignment, but that was a rare instance where that piece of music existed.
Stephen Schwartz: I would come in with a title, maybe a couple of lines for Alan to be inspired by. We would talk about the whole unit, its job from a storytelling point of view. He would write some music. I could say, “I liked that. Let’s follow that.” He’d push a button and there would be a sloppy printout, enough that I could play it as I was starting the lyrics.
Roy Conli: Stephen’s lyrics are absolutely phenomenal. With that as a guiding light, we were in really good shape.
Stephen Schwartz: Alan played [the “Out There” theme] for me, and I really liked it. I asked for one change in the original chorus. Other than that, the music was exactly as he gave it to me.
Gary Trousdale: Talking with these guys about music is always intimidating. There was one [lyric] Don and I both questioned in “Out There,” when Frollo is singing, “Why invite their calumny and consternation?” Don and I went, “Calumny?” Kirk said, “Nope, it’s OK, I saw it in an X-Men comic book.” I went, “All right! It’s in a comic book! It’s good.”
Stephen Schwartz: Disney made it possible for me to get into Notre Dame before it opened to the public. I’d climb up the steps to the bell tower. I’d sit there with my yellow pad and pencil. I’d have the tune for “Out There” in my head, and I would look out at Paris, and be Quasimodo. By the time we left Paris, the song was written.
Kirk Wise: Stephen’s lyrics are really smart and literate. I don’t think the comical stuff was necessarily [his] strongest area. But this movie was a perfect fit, because the power of the emotions were so strong. Stephen just has a natural ability to connect with that.
Will Finn: The directors wanted a funny song for the gargoyles and Stephen was not eager to write it. He came to me and Irene Mecchi and asked us to help him think of comedy ideas for “A Guy Like You,” and we pitched a bunch of gags.
Jason Alexander: Singing with an orchestra the likes of which Alan and Stephen and Disney can assemble is nirvana. It’s electrifying and gives you the boost to sing over and over. Fortunately, everyone was open to discovery. I love nuance and intention in interpretation. I was given wonderful freedom to find both.
Stephen Schwartz: “Topsy Turvy,” it’s one of those numbers of musical theater where you can accomplish an enormous amount of storytelling. If you didn’t have that, you’d feel you were drowning in exposition. When you put it in the context of the celebration of the Feast of Fools, you could get a lot of work done.
Paul Kandel: The first time I sang [“Topsy Turvy”] through, I got a little applause from the orchestra. That was a very nice thing to happen and calm me down a little bit.
Brenda Chapman: Poor Kevin Harkey must’ve worked on “Topsy Turvy” for over a year. Just hearing [singing] “Topsy turvy!” I thought, “I would shoot myself.” It’s a fun song, but to listen to that, that many times. I don’t know if he ever got to work on anything else.
Paul Kandel: There were places where I thought the music was squarer than it needed to be. I wanted to round it out because Clopin is unpredictable. Is he good? Is he bad? That’s what I was trying to edge in there.
Kirk Wise: “God Help the Outcasts” made Jeffrey restless. I think he wanted “Memory” from Cats. Alan and Stephen wrote “Someday.” Jeffrey said, “This is good, but it needs to be bigger!” Alan was sitting at his piano bench, and Jeffrey was next to him. Jeffrey said, “When I want it bigger, I’ll nudge you.” Alan started playing and Jeffrey was jabbing him in the ribs. “Bigger, bigger!”
Don Hahn: In terms of what told the story better, one song was poetic, but the other was specific. “Outcasts” was very specific about Quasimodo. “Someday” was “Somewhere Over the Rainbow.”
Kirk Wise: When Don watched the movie, he said, “It’s working pretty well. But ‘Someday,’ I don’t know. It feels like she’s yelling at God.” We played “God Help the Outcasts” for him and Don said, “Oh, this is perfect.” That song is the signature of the entire movie.
Don Hahn: “Someday” was lovely. But I had come off of working with Howard Ashman, and I felt, “This doesn’t move the plot forward much, does it?” We ended up with “Someday” as an end-credits song, which was fortunate. ‘Cause they’re both good songs.
Kirk Wise: It was all about what conveys the emotion of the scene and the central theme of the movie best. “God Help the Outcasts” did that.
Everyone agrees on one point.
Stephen Schwartz: Hunchback is Alan’s best score. And that’s saying a lot, because he’s written a whole bunch of really good ones.
Gary Trousdale: With Hunchback, there were a couple of people that said, “This is why I chose music as a career.” Alan and Stephen’s songs are so amazing, so that’s really something.
Paul Kandel: It has a beautiful score.
Jason Alexander: It has the singularly most sophisticated score of most of the animated films of that era.
Roy Conli: The score of Hunchback is one of the greatest we’ve done.
Don Hahn: This is Alan’s most brilliant score. The amount of gravitas Alan put in the score is amazing.
Alan Menken: It’s the most ambitious score I’ve ever written. It has emotional depth. It’s a different assignment. And it was the project where awards stopped happening. It’s almost like, “OK, now you’ve gone too far.”
Stephen Schwartz: It’s astonishing that Alan has won about 173 Academy Awards, and the one score he did not win for is his best score.
The film featured marquee performers singing covers of “God Help the Outcasts” and “Someday”. But one of the most famous performers ever nearly brought those songs to life.
Alan Menken: I met Michael Jackson when we were looking for someone to sing “A Whole New World” for Aladdin. Michael wanted to co-write the song. I could get a sense of who Michael was. He was a very unique, interesting individual…in his own world.
I get a call out of nowhere from Michael’s assistant, when Michael was at the Four Seasons Hotel in New York. He had to [deal with] allegations about inappropriate behavior with underage kids, and the breakup with Lisa Marie Presley. He’s looking to change the subject. And he obviously loves Disney so much. So I mentioned Hunchback. He said he’d love to come to my studio, watch the movie and talk about it. So we got in touch with Disney Animation. They said, “Meet with him! If he likes it…well, see what he says.” [laughing]
There’s three songs. One was “Out There,” one was “God Help the Outcasts,” one was “Someday.” Michael said, “I would like to produce the songs and record some of them.” Wow. Okay. What do we do now? Michael left. We got in touch with Disney. It was like somebody dropped a hot poker into a fragile bowl with explosives. “Uh, we’ll get back to you about that.”
Finally, predictably, the word came back, “Disney doesn’t want to do this with Michael Jackson.” I go, “OK, could someone tell him this?” You can hear a pin drop, no response, and nobody did [tell him]. It fell to my late manager, Scott Shukat, to tell Michael or Michael’s attorney.
In retrospect, it was the right decision. [But] Quasimodo is a character…if you look at his relationships with his family and his father, I would think there’s a lot of identification there.
“They’re Never Going to Do This Kind of Character Again”
The film is known for the way it grapples with the hypocrisy and lust typified by the villainous Judge Frollo, whose terrifying song “Hellfire” remains a high point of Disney animation.
Gary Trousdale: Somebody asked me recently: “How the hell did you get ‘Hellfire’ past Disney?” It’s a good question.
Alan Menken: When Stephen and I wrote “Hellfire,” I was so excited by what we accomplished. It really raised the bar for Disney animation. It raised the bar for Stephen’s and my collaboration.
Stephen Schwartz: I thought the would never let me get away with [“Hellfire”]. And they never asked for a single change.
Alan Menken: Lust and religious conflict. Now more than ever, these are very thorny issues to put in front of the Disney audience. We wanted to go at it as truthfully as possible.
Stephen Schwartz: When Alan and I tackled “Hellfire,” I did what I usually did: write what I thought it should be and assume that [Disney would] tell me what I couldn’t get away with. But they accepted exactly what we wrote.
Don Hahn: Every good song score needs a villain’s moment. Stephen and Alan approached it with “Hellfire.”
Alan Menken: It was very clear, we’d thrown the gauntlet pretty far. It was also clear within our creative team that everybody was excited about going there.
Don Hahn: You use all the tools in your toolkit, and one of the most powerful ones was Alan and Stephen. Stephen can be dark, but he’s also very funny. He’s brilliant.
Gary Trousdale: The [MPAA] said, “When Frollo says ‘This burning desire is turning me to sin,’ we don’t like the word ‘sin.’” We can’t change the lyrics now. It’s all recorded. Kinda tough. “What if we just dip the volume of the word ‘sin’ and increase the sound effects?” They said, “Good.”
Stephen Schwartz: It’s one of the most admirable things [laughs] I have ever seen Disney Animation do. It was very supportive and adventurous, which is a spirit that…let’s just say, I don’t think [the company would] make this movie today.
Don Hahn: It’s funny. Violence is far more accepted than sex in a family movie. You can go see a Star Wars movie and the body count’s pretty huge, but there’s rarely any sexual innuendo.
Kathy Zielinski: I got to watch [Tony Jay] record “Hellfire” with another actor. I was sweating watching him record, because it was unbelievably intense. Afterwards, he asked me, “Did you learn anything from my performance?” I said, “Yeah, I never want to be a singer.” [laughing]
Paul Kandel: Tony Jay knocked that out of the park. He [was] an incredible guy. Very sweet. He was terrified to record “Hellfire.” He was at a couple of my sessions. He went, “Oh my God, what’s going to happen when it’s my turn? I don’t sing. I’m not a singer. I never pretended to be a singer.” I said, “Look, I’m not a singer. I’m an actor who figured out that they could hold a tune.”
Kathy Zielinski: I listened to Tony sing “Hellfire” tons. I knew I had gone too far when, one morning, we were sitting at the breakfast table and my daughter, who was two or three at the time, started singing the song and doing the mannerisms. [laughs]
Don Hahn: We didn’t literally want to show [Frollo’s lust]. It turns into a Fantasia sequence, almost. A lot of the imagery is something you could see coming out of Frollo’s imagination. It’s very impressionistic. It does stretch the boundaries of what had been done before at Disney.
Kirk Wise: We stylized it like “Night on Bald Mountain.” The best of Walt’s films balanced very dark and light elements. Instead of making it explicit, we tried to make it more visual and use symbolic imagery.
Gaëtan Brizzi: We were totally free. We could show symbolically how sick Frollo is between his hate and his carnal desire.
Kathy Zielinski: The storyboards had a tremendous influence. Everybody was incredibly admiring of the work that [Paul and Gaëtan] had done.
Don Hahn: They brought the storyboarded sequence to life in a way that is exactly what the movie looks like. The strength of it is that we didn’t have to show anything as much as we did suggest things to the audience. Give the audience credit for filling in the blanks.
Gary Trousdale: It was absolutely gorgeous. Their draftsmanship and their cinematography. They are the top. They pitched it with a cassette recording of Stephen singing “Hellfire”, and we were all in the story room watching it, going “Oh shit!”
Paul Brizzi: When Frollo is at the fireplace with Esmeralda’s scarf, his face is hypnotized. From the smoke, there’s the silhouette of Esmeralda coming to him. She’s naked in our drawings.
Gary Trousdale: We joked, maybe because they’re French, Esmeralda was in the nude when she was in the fire. Roy Disney put his foot down and said, “That’s not going to happen.” Chris Jenkins, the head of effects, and I went over every drawing to make sure she was appropriately attired. That was the one concession we made to the studio.
Gaëtan Brizzi: It’s the role of storyboard artists to go far, and then you scale it down. Her body was meant to be suggestive. It was more poetic than provocative.
Brenda Chapman: I thought what the Brizzis did with “Hellfire” was just stunning.
Roy Conli: We make films for people from four to 104, and we’re trying to ensure that the thematic material engages adults and engages children. We had a lot of conversations on “Hellfire,” [which] was groundbreaking. You saw the torment, but you didn’t necessarily, if you were a kid, read it as sexual. And if you were an adult, you picked it up pretty well.
Will Finn: “Hellfire” was uncomfortable to watch with a family audience. I’m not a prude, but what are small kids to make of such a scene?
Kathy Zielinski: When I was working on “Hellfire,” I thought, “Wow. They’re never going to do this kind of character again.” And I’m pretty much right.
“Straight for the Heart”
“Hellfire” may be the apex of the maturity of The Hunchback of Notre Dame, but the entire film is the most complex and adult Disney animated feature of the modern era.
Gary Trousdale: We went straight for the heart and then pulled back.
Kirk Wise: I was comfortable with moments of broad comedy contrasted with moments that were dark or scary or violent. All of the Disney movies did that, particularly in Walt’s time.
Don Hahn: A lot of it is gut level, where [the story group would] sit around and talk to ourselves and pitch it to executives. But Walt Disney’s original animated films were really dark. We wanted to create something that had the impact of what animation can do.
Will Finn: Eisner insisted we follow the book to the letter, but he said the villain could not be a priest, and we had to have a happy ending. The book is an epic tragedy – everybody dies!
Kathy Zielinski: It’s a little scary that I felt comfortable with [Frollo]. [laughing] I don’t know what that means. Maybe I need to go to therapy. I’ve always had a desire to do villains. I just love evil.
Don Hahn: Kathy Zielinski is brilliant. She works on The Simpsons now, which is hilarious. She’s very intense, very aware of what [Frollo] had to do.
One specific choice in the relationship between Frollo and Esmeralda caused problems.
Stephen Schwartz: I remember there was great controversy over Frollo sniffing Esmeralda’s hair.
Kirk Wise: The scene that caused the most consternation was in the cathedral where Frollo grabs Esmeralda, whispers in her ear and sniffs her hair. The sniffing made people ask, “Is this too far?” We got a lot of support from Peter Schneider, Tom Schumacher, and Michael Eisner.
Kathy Zielinski: Brenda Chapman came up with that idea and the storyboard. I animated it. It’s interesting, because two females were responsible for that. That scene was problematic, so they had to cut it down. It used to be a lot longer.
Brenda Chapman: I know I’m probably pushing it too far, but let’s give it a go, you know?
Kirk Wise: We agreed it was going to be a matter of execution and our collective gut would tell us whether we were crossing the line. We learned that the difference between a G and PG is the loudness of a sniff. Ultimately, that’s what it came down to.
Brenda Chapman: I never knew that! [laughing]
Don Hahn: Is it rated G? That’s surprising.
Gary Trousdale: I’m sure there was backroom bargaining done that Kirk and I didn’t know about.
Don Hahn: It’s negotiation. The same was true of The Lion King. We had intensity notes on the fight at the end. You either say, we’re going to live with that and it’s PG, or we’re not and it’s G.
Brenda Chapman: I heard stories of little kids going, “Ewww, he’s rubbing his boogers in her hair!” [laughing] If that’s what they want to think, that’s fine. But there are plenty of adults that went, “Whoa!”
Don Hahn: You make the movies for yourselves, [but] we all have families, and you try to make something that’s appropriate for that audience. So we made some changes. Frollo isn’t a member of the clergy to take out any politicizing.
Gaëtan Brizzi: We developed the idea of Frollo’s racism against the gypsies. To feel that he desires Esmeralda and he wants to kill her. It was ambiguity that was interesting to develop. In the storyboards, Paul made [Frollo] handsome with a big jaw, a guy with class. They said he was too handsome. We had to break that formula.
Stephen Schwartz: I [and others] said, “It doesn’t make any sense for him to not be the Archdeacon, because what’s he doing with Quasimodo? What possible relationship could they have?” Which is what led to the backstory that became “The Bells of Notre Dame.”
Don Hahn: The things Frollo represents are alive and well in the world. Bigotry and prejudice are human traits and always have been. One of his traits was lust. How do you portray that in a Disney movie? We tried to portray that in a way that might be over kids’ heads and may not give them nightmares necessarily, but it’s not going to pull its punches. So it was a fine line.
Stephen Schwartz: Hugo’s novel is not critical of the church the way a lot of French literature is. It creates this character of Frollo, who’s a deeply hypocritical person and tormented by his hypocrisy.
Peter Schneider: I am going to be controversial. I think it failed. The fundamental basis is problematic, if you’re going to try and do a Disney movie. In [light of] the #MeToo movement, you couldn’t still do the movie and try what we tried to do. As much as we tried to soften it, you couldn’t get away from the fundamental darkness.
Don Hahn: Yeah, that sounds like Peter. He’s always the contrarian.
Peter Schneider: I’m not sure we should have made the movie, in retrospect. I mean, it did well, Kirk and Gary did a beautiful job. The voices are beautiful. The songs are lovely, but I’m not sure we should have made the movie.
Gaëtan Brizzi: The hardest part was to stick to the commercial side of the movie…to make sure we were still addressing kids.
Kirk Wise: We knew it was going to be a challenge to honor the source material while delivering a movie that would fit comfortably on the shelf with the other Disney musicals. We embraced it.
Roy Conli: I don’t think it was too mature. I do find it at times slightly provocative, but not in a judgmental or negative way. I stand by the film 100 percent in sending a message of hope.
Peter Schneider: It never settled its tone. If you look at the gargoyles and bringing in Jason Alexander to try and give comedy to this rather bleak story of a judge keeping a deformed young man in the tower…there’s so many icky factors for a Disney movie.
Jason Alexander: Some children might be frightened by Quasi’s look or not be able to understand the complexity. But what we see is an honest, innocent and capable underdog confront his obstacles and naysayers and emerge triumphant, seen and accepted. I think young people rally to those stories. They can handle the fearsome and celebrate the good.
Brenda Chapman: There was a scene where Frollo was locking Quasimodo in the tower, and Quasi was quite upset. I had to pull back from how cruel Frollo was in that moment, if I’m remembering correctly. I wanted to make him a very human monster, which can be scarier than a real monster.
Roy Conli: We walked such a tight line and we were on the edge and the fact that Disney allowed us to be on the edge was a huge tribute to them.
“Hear the Voice”
The story was set, the songs were ready. All that was left was getting a cast together to bring the characters’ voices to life.
Jason Alexander: Disney, Alan Menken, Stephen Schwartz, Victor Hugo – you had me at hello.
Paul Kandel: I was in Tommy, on Broadway. I was also a Tony nominee. So I had those prerequisites. Then I got a call from my agent that Jeffrey Katzenberg decided he wanted a star. I was out of a job I already had. I said, “I want to go back in and audition again.” I wanted to let them choose between me and whoever had a name that would help sell the film. So that series of auditions went on and I got the job back.
Kirk Wise: Everybody auditioned, with the exception of Kevin Kline and Demi Moore. We went to them with an offer. But we had a few people come in for Quasimodo, including Meat Loaf.
Will Finn: Katzenberg saw Meat Loaf and Cher playing Quasimodo and Esmeralda – more of a rock opera. He also wanted Leno, Letterman, and Arsenio as the gargoyles at one point.
Kirk Wise: Meat Loaf sat with Alan and rehearsed the song. It was very different than what we ended up with, because Meat Loaf has a very distinct sound. Ultimately, I think his record company and Disney couldn’t play nice together, and the deal fell apart.
Gary Trousdale: We all had the drawings of the characters we were currently casting for in front of us. Instead of watching the actor, we’d be looking down at the piece of paper, trying to hear that voice come out of the drawing. And it was, we learned, a little disconcerting for some of the actors and actresses, who would put on hair and makeup and clothes and they’ve got their body language and expressions. We just want to hear the voice.
Kirk Wise: We cast Cyndi Lauper as one of the gargoyles. We thought she was hilarious and sweet. The little fat obnoxious gargoyle had a different name, and was going to be played by Sam McMurray. We had Cyndi and Sam record, and Roy Disney hated it. The quality of Cyndi’s voice and Sam’s voice were extremely grating to his ear. This is no disrespect to them – Cyndi Lauper is amazing. And Sam McMurray is very funny. But it was not working for the people in the room on that day.
Jason Alexander: The authors cast you for a reason – they think they’ve heard a voice in you that fits their character. I always try to look at the image of the character – his shape, his size, his energy and start to allow sounds, pitches, vocal tics to emerge. Then everyone kicks that around, nudging here, tweaking there and within a few minutes you have the approach to the vocalization. It’s not usually a long process, but it is fun.
Kirk Wise: We decided to reconceive the gargoyles. We always knew we wanted three of them. We wanted a Laurel and Hardy pair. The third gargoyle, the female gargoyle, was up in the air. I think it was Will Finn who said, “Why don’t we make her older?” As the wisdom-keeper. That led us to Mary Wickes, who was absolutely terrific. We thoroughly enjoyed working with Mary, and 98% of the dialogue is her. But she sadly passed away before we were finished.
Will Finn: We brought in a ton of voice-over actresses and none sounded like Mary. One night, I woke up thinking about Jane Withers, who had been a character actress in the golden age of Hollywood. She had a similar twang in her voice, and very luckily, she was alive and well.
Kirk Wise: Our first session with Kevin Kline went OK, but something was missing. It just didn’t feel like there was enough of a twinkle in his voice. Roy Conli said, “Guys, he’s an actor. Give him a prop.” For the next session, the supervising animator for Phoebus brought in a medieval broadsword. Before the session started, we said “Kevin, we’ve got a present for you.” We brought out this sword, and he lit up like a kid at Christmas. He would gesture with it and lean on it. Roy found the key there.
Gary Trousdale: Kevin Kline is naturally funny, so we may have [written] some funnier lines for him. When he’s sparring with Esmeralda in the cathedral and he gets hit by the goat. “I didn’t know you had a kid,” which is the worst line ever. But he pulls it off. He had good comic timing.
Kirk Wise: Tom Hulce had a terrific body of work, including Amadeus. But the performance that stuck with me was in Dominic and Eugene. There was a sensitivity and emotional reality to that performance that made us lean in and think he might make a good Quasimodo.
Gary Trousdale: [His voice] had a nice mix of youthful and adult. He had a maturity, but he had an innocence as well. We’re picturing Quasimodo as a guy who’s basically an innocent. It was a quality of his voice that we could hear.
Don Hahn: He’s one of those actors who could perform and act while he sang. Solo songs, especially for Quasimodo, are monologues set to music. So you’re looking for someone who can portray all the emotion of the scene. It’s about performance and storytelling, and creating a character while you’re singing. That’s why Tom rose to the top.
Stephen Schwartz: I thought Tom did great. I had known Tom a little bit beforehand, as an actor in New York. I’d seen him do Equus and I was sort of surprised. I just knew him as an actor in straight plays. I didn’t know that he sang at all, and then it turned out that he really sang.
Paul Kandel: [Tom] didn’t think of himself as a singer. He’s an actor who can sing. “Out There,” his big number – whether he’s going to admit it to you or not – that was scary for him. But a beautiful job.
Brenda Chapman: Quasimodo was the key to make it family-friendly. Tom Hulce did such a great job making him appealing.
Kirk Wise: Gary came back with the audiotape of Tom’s first session. And his first appearance with the little bird, where he asks if the bird is ready to fly…that whole scene was his rehearsal tape. His instincts were so good. He just nailed it. I think he was surprised that we went with that take. It was the least overworked and the most spontaneous, and felt emotionally real to us.
Kathy Zielinski: Early on, they wanted Anthony Hopkins to do the voice [of Frollo]. [We] did an animation test with a line of his from Silence of the Lambs.
Kirk Wise: We were thinking of Hannibal Lecter in the earliest iterations of Frollo. They made an offer, but Hopkins passed. We came full circle to Tony, because it had been such a good experience working with him on Beauty and the Beast. It was the combination of the quality of his voice, the familiarity of working with him, and knowing how professional and sharp he was.
Though the role of Quasimodo went to Tom Hulce (who did not respond to multiple requests for comment), there was one audition those involved haven’t forgotten.
Kirk Wise: We had a few people come in for Quasimodo, including Mandy Patinkin.
Stephen Schwartz: That was a difficult day. [laughing]
Kirk Wise: Mandy informed Alan and Stephen that he brought his own accompanist, which was unexpected because we had one in the room. He had taken a few liberties with [“Out There”]. He had done a little rearranging. You could see Alan’s and Stephen’s spines stiffen. It was not the feel that Alan and Stephen were going for. Stephen pretty much said so in the room. I think his words were a little sharper and more pointed than mine.
Stephen Schwartz: I’ve never worked with Mandy Patinkin. But I admired Evita and Sunday in the Park with George. He came in to audition for Quasimodo. When I came in, Ben Vereen was sitting in the hallway. Ben is a friend of mine and kind of a giant star. I felt we should be polite in terms of bringing him in relatively close to the time for which he was called.
Mandy took a long time with his audition, and asked to do it over and over again. If you’re Mandy Patinkin, you should have enough time scheduled to feel you were able to show what you wanted to show. However, that amount of time was not scheduled. At a certain point, I became a bit agitated because I knew Ben was sitting there, cooling his heels. I remember asking [to] move along or something. That created a huge contretemps.
Kirk Wise: Gary and I stepped outside to work on a dialogue scene with Mandy. As we were explaining the scene and our take on the character, Mandy threw up his hands and said, “Guys, I’m really sorry. I can’t do this.” He turned on his heel and went into the rehearsal hall and shut the door. We started hearing an intense argument. He basically went in and read Alan and Stephen the riot act. The door opens, smoke issuing from the crater that he left inside. Mandy storms out, and he’s gone. We step back in the room, asking, “What the hell happened?”
Gary Trousdale: I did a drawing of it afterwards. The Patinkin Incident.
Stephen Schwartz: Battleship Patinkin!
“Join the Party”
The darkness in the film made it difficult to market. Even some involved acknowledged the issue. In the run-up to release, Jason Alexander said to Entertainment Weekly, “Disney would have us believe this movie’s like the Ringling Bros., for children of all ages. But I won’t be taking my 4-year old. I wouldn’t expose him to it, not for another year.”
Alan Menken: There was all the outrage about Jason Alexander referring to it as a dark story that’s not for kids. Probably Disney wasn’t happy he said that.
Jason Alexander: Most Disney animated films are entertaining and engaging for any child with an attention span. All of them have elements that are frightening. But people are abused in Hunchback. These are people, not cute animals. Some children could be overwhelmed by some of it at a very young age. My son at the time could not tolerate any sense of dread in movies so it would have been hard for him. However, that is certainly not all children.
Don Hahn: I don’t think Jason was wrong. People have to decide for themselves. It probably wasn’t a movie for four-year olds. You as a parent know your kid better than I do.
If everyone agrees the score is excellent, they also agree on something that was not.
Alan Menken: God knows we couldn’t control how Disney marketing dealt with the movie, which was a parade with Quasimodo on everybody’s shoulders going, “Join the party.” [laughing]
Roy Conli: I always thought “Animation comes of age” would be a great [tagline]. I think the marketing ended up, “Join the party.”
Brenda Chapman: Marketing had it as this big party. And then you get into the story and there’s all this darkness. I think audiences were not expecting that, if they didn’t know the original story.
Kathy Zielinski: It was a hard movie for Disney to merchandise and sell to the public.
Gaëtan Brizzi: People must have been totally surprised by the dramatic sequences. The advertising was not reflecting what the movie was about.
Stephen Schwartz: To this day, they just don’t know how to market “Disney’s Hunchback of Notre Dame.” I understand what their quandary is. They have developed a brand that says, “If you see the word Disney on something, it means you can take your 6-year old.” You probably shouldn’t even take your 8-year old, unless he or she is very mature, to Hunchback.
Alan Menken: We [Disney] had such a run of successful projects. It was inevitable there was going to be a time where people said, “I’ve seen all those, but what else is out there?” I had that experience sitting at a diner with my family, overhearing a family talk about Hunchback and say, “Oh yeah, we saw Beauty and Aladdin, but this one…let’s see something else.”
Stephen Schwartz: I did have a sense that some in the critical community didn’t know how to reconcile animation and an adult approach. They have the same attitude some critics have about musicals. “It’s fine if it’s tap-dancing and about silly subjects. But if it’s something that has intellectual import, you can’t do that.” Obviously we have Hamilton and Sweeney Todd and Wicked. Over the years, that’s changed to some extent, but not for everybody.
Roy Conli: Every film is not a Lion King. [But] if that story has legs and will touch people, then you’ve succeeded.
Kirk Wise: We were a little disappointed in its initial weekend. It didn’t do as well as we hoped. We were also disappointed in the critical reaction. It was well-reviewed, but more mixed. Roger Ebert loved us. The New York Times hated us! I felt whipsawed. It was the same critic [Janet Maslin] who praised Beauty and the Beast to the high heavens. She utterly shat on Hunchback.
Don Hahn: We had really good previews, but we also knew it was out of the box creatively. We were also worried about the French and we were worried about the handicapped community and those were the two communities that supported the movie the most.
Will Finn: I knew we were in trouble when the first trailers played and audiences laughed at Quasimodo singing “Out There” on the roof.
Kirk Wise: All of us were proud of the movie on an artistic level. In terms of animation and backgrounds and music and the use of the camera and the performances. It’s the entire studio operating at its peak level of performance, as far as I’m concerned.
Gary Trousdale: I didn’t think people were going to have such a negative reaction to the gargoyles. They’re a little silly. And they do undercut the gravity. But speaking with friends who were kids at the time, they have nothing but fond memories. There were adults, high school age and older when they saw it, they were turned off. We thought it was going to do really great. We thought, “We’re topping ourselves.” It’s a sophisticated story and the music is amazing.
Kirk Wise: The 2D animated movies used to be released before Christmas [or] Thanksgiving. The Lion King changed that. Now everything was a summer release. I always questioned the wisdom of releasing Hunchback in the summertime, in competition with other blockbusters.
Paul Kandel: It made $300 million and it cost $80 million to make. So they were not hurting as far as profits were concerned. But I thought it was groundbreaking in so many ways that I was surprised at the mixed reviews.
Kirk Wise: By most measures, it was a hit. I think The Lion King spoiled everybody, because [it] was such a phenomenon, a bolt from the blue, not-to-be-repeated kind of event.
Gary Trousdale: We were getting mixed reviews. Some of them were really good. “This is a stunning masterpiece.” And other people were saying, “This is a travesty.” And the box office was coming in, not as well as hoped.
Don Hahn: I was in Argentina doing South American press. I got a call from Peter Schneider, who said, “It’s performing OK, but it’s probably going to hit 100 million.” Which, for any other moviemaker, would be a goldmine. But we’d been used to huge successes. I was disappointed.
Peter Schneider: I think it was a hit, right? It just wasn’t the same. As they say in the theater, you don’t set out to make a failure.
Don Hahn: If you’re the New York Yankees, and you’ve had a winning season where you could not lose, and then people hit standup singles instead of home runs…that’s OK. But it has this aura of disappointment. That’s the feeling that’s awful to have, because it’s selfish. Animation is an art, and the arts are meant to be without a price tag hanging off of them all the time.
Paul Brizzi: We are still grateful to Kirk and Gary and Don. We worked on [Hunchback] for maybe a year or a year and a half. Every sequence, we did with passion.
Gaëtan Brizzi: Our work on Hunchback was a triumph of our career.
Kathy Zielinski: There are certainly a whole crowd of people who wish we had not [done] the comedy, because that wasn’t faithful. That’s the main complaint I heard – we should’ve gone for this total dramatic piece and not worried about the kiddies.
Gaetan Brizzi: The only concern we had was the lack of homogeneity. The drama was really strong, and the [comedy] was sometimes a little bit goofy. It was a paradox. When you go from “Hellfire” to a big joke, the transition was not working well. Otherwise, we were very proud.
James Baxter: We were happy with what we did, but we understood it was going to be a slightly harder sell. The Hunchback of Notre Dame usually doesn’t engender connotations like, “Oh, that’s going to be a Disney classic.” I was very happy that it did as well as it did.
Jason Alexander: I thought it was even more mature and emotional on screen. It was an exciting maturation of what a Disney animated feature could be. I was impressed and touched.
“An Undersung Hero”
25 years later, The Hunchback of Notre Dame endures. The animated film inspired an even darker stage show that played both domestically and overseas, and in recent years, there have been rumors that Josh Gad would star as Quasimodo in a live-action remake.
Alan Menken: I think it’s a project that with every passing year will more and more become recognized as a really important part of my career.
Stephen Schwartz: This will be immodest, but I think it’s a really fine adaptation. I think it’s the best musical adaptation of the Victor Hugo novel, and there have been a lot. I think the music is just unbelievably good. I think, as a lyricist, I was working at pretty much the top of my form. I have so many people telling me it’s their favorite Disney film.
Alan Menken: During the pandemic, there was this hundred-piece choir doing “The Bells of Notre Dame.” People are picking up on it. It’s the combination of the storytelling and how well the score is constructed that gets it to longevity. If something is good enough, it gets found.
Paul Kandel: I think people were more sensitive. There was an expectation that a new Disney animated film would not push boundaries at all, which it did. For critics, it pushed a little too hard and I don’t think they would think that now. It’s a work of art.
Gaëtan Brizzi: Hunchback is poetic, because of its dark romanticism. We have tons of animated movies, but I think they all look alike because of the computer technique. This movie is very important in making people understand that hate has no place in our society, between a culture or people or a country. That’s the message of the movie, and of Victor Hugo himself.
Jason Alexander: I think it’s an undersung hero. It’s one of the most beautiful and moving animated films. But it is not the title that lives on everyone’s tongue. I think more people haven’t seen this one than any of the others. I adore it.
Peter Schneider: What Disney did around this period [is] we stopped making musicals. I think that was probably a mistake on some level, but the animators were bored with it.
Don Hahn: You know people reacted to Beauty and the Beast or The Lion King. They were successful movies in their day. You don’t know the reaction to anything else. So when [I] go to Comic-Con or do press on other movies, people started talking about Hunchback. “My favorite Alan Menken score is Hunchback.” It’s always surprising and delightful.
Kirk Wise: I’ve had so many people come up to me and say, “This is my absolute favorite movie. I adored this movie as a kid. I wore out my VHS.” That makes all the difference in the world.
Paul Kandel: Sitting on my desk right now are four long letters and requests for autographs. I get 20 of those a week. People are still seeing that film and being moved by it.
Alan Menken: Now there’s a discussion about a live-action film with Hunchback. And that’s [sighs] exciting and problematic. We have to, once again, wade into the troubled waters of “What is Disney’s movie version of Hunchback?” Especially now.
Jason Alexander: Live action could work because the vast majority of characters are human. The story of an actual human who is in some ways less abled and who is defined by how he looks, rather than his heart and character, is timely and important, to say the least.
Kirk Wise: I imagine if there were a live-action adaptation, it would skew more towards the stage version. That’s just my guess.
Stephen Schwartz: I think it would lend itself extremely well to a live-action movie, particularly if they use the stage show as the basis. I think the stage show is fantastic.
Kirk Wise: It’s gratifying to be involved in movies like Beauty and the Beast and Hunchback that have created so much affection. But animation is as legitimate a form of storytelling as live-action is. It might be different, but I don’t think it’s better. I feel like [saying], “Just put on the old one. It’s still good!”
Gary Trousdale: There were enough versions before. Somebody wants to make another version? Okay. Most people can tell the difference between the animated version and a live-action reboot. Mostly I’m not a fan of those. But if that’s what Disney wants to do, great.
Don Hahn: It’s very visual. It’s got huge potential because of its setting and the drama, and the music. It’s pretty powerful, so it makes sense to remake that movie. I think we will someday.
Brenda Chapman: It’s a history lesson. Now that Notre Dame is in such dire straits, after having burned so badly, hopefully [this] will increase interest in all that history.
James Baxter: It meant two children. I met my wife on that movie. [laughs] In a wider sense, the legacy is another step of broadening the scope of what Disney feature animation could be.
Kirk Wise: Hunchback is the movie where the final product turned out closest to the original vision. There was such terrific passion by the crew that carried throughout the process.
Roy Conli: It’s one of the most beautiful films we’ve made. 25 years later, I’d say “Join the party.” [laughs]
#long post behind read more#the hunchback of notre dame#hunchback of notre dame#notre dame de paris#victor hugo#interviews#disney#alan menken#stephen schwartz#quasimodo#esmeralda#frollo#phoebus#movies#movie history
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100 Days of Writing
[Day 5] Worldbuilding
The prompt we were offered today by @the-wip-project was to describe a worldbuilding detail in our WIP that we really liked.
I’ve been writing fanfiction only for the past few years. I hadn’t written for decades and fic was what got me writing again. I haven’t moved away from it yet.
So I thought I’d write a bit about that. Specifically, what writing fan fiction is like versus writing original fiction.
The amazing thing about fanfiction is that the world has already been built. Depending on the fandom, there might be centuries of history, an entire planet, countries and cities, races, and political systems. Dragon Age, for example, has all those and religious beliefs, human rights abuses and champions, several wars, a rebellion, I mean, it just goes on and on. For me to come up with a world even half as rich would take years and years.
Another thing that’s already in place when it comes to fanfiction is the plot. Again, depending on the fandom, there could be a huge, winding plot full of endless loose threads to explore (and exploit), or it could be a loose, overarching plot with lots of room to make up things that happened ‘behind the scenes’. But like the worldbuilding, it’s not something we have to come up with from scratch. We can add things, insert things, expand things, all of which is easier than building the scaffolding of the plot and making sure it works well and there are no holes or draggy bits.
If you don’t write fanfiction, I can hear the question forming in your brain even as you read this:
So… if the world exists, is already populated, and there’s a plot.. what’s the point of writing fanfiction?
I live and breathe analogies, so humour me, if you will. If you’ve ever been tasked with entertaining a group of children outside, you will likely be familiar with their amazing ability to have fun with next to nothing. I worked as a nanny a few times in my teens and 20s, and then became a parent much later, and kids have this incredible capacity to bring life and stories to a backyard littered with a few foam noodles, a three-wheeled skateboard, and a broken dump truck.
For a while. But if they see the same backyard day after day, eventually their enthusiasm wanes and you need to switch it up. Or sometimes, the kids have never actually played outside before… they’ve grown up in daycares and are overscheduled with lessons and activities and have no idea what to do when faced with an empty backyard or a bare field.
This is when a smart caregiver will take the kids to a playground filled with equipment or a water park. Then the bored kids and the clueless kids have two things going for them: there are structures to explore and interact with, and they have examples of possibilities from the other kids already playing there. They give each other ideas and they build on them and it’s really fun to see how pirate battles and alien invasions and touching ‘playing house’ narratives are spun out between kids who have never met before, but who are drawn together by the cool shit they’re playing on and their ideas.
The kids are writers. The empty backyard and bare field is original fiction and the playground and water park is fanfiction. Most kids can handle both the bare field and the playground equally adeptly, but one brings something to their play that the other doesn’t. We don’t ask ‘what’s the point’ when kids are playing in a playground. We don’t think their play is somehow limited or ‘lazy’ because it’s utilizing an environment or structure that already existed! In the same way, writing a story that uses an existing world and developed characters is still deeply creative writing.
Just like kids can adapt structures to their play - such as inventing games to play with the foam noodles - they can expend the application of existing structures to accommodate their imaginations. A swing becomes the launch pad for a rocket. A slide is now the preferred way to get from the bedroom to the kitchen. In the same way, a writer can invent a world made up of things they find in their heads, and they can adapt and extend existing worlds to accommodate their own stories.
It’s kind of fucking brilliant, in my opinion.
But… if the world already exists, and it’s already populated… and you know what happens… what exactly are you writing?
I get it, I do. I don’t know any fanfiction writers in real life, so I’ve had to try to explain it a few times and the question is genuine.
And the answer is, just about anything we want to. We invent our own original characters and then make them play with the canon (established) characters. We take a scene from the movie, or book, or game and we change a detail that gives the whole scene a new meaning. Or we take something the original content mentions in passing and we go to town on it and develop it to our heart’s content. Did you think those two characters deserved more than a chance meeting when their shopping carts ran into each other? Then write a whole story on how they helped each other deal with the mess, how they teased each other about the contents of their carts, how they stared at each other for a minute and a half because neither of them were ready to walk away until finally one blurts out ‘do you wanna get coffee’ and then they become best friends for life.
Should those two not have broken up? Write the characters working through their problems and staying together. Was the ending absolutely fucked up in that movie? Of course it was. You can do better. So do it and share it with all the other people who feel the same way you did about that ending. Oh, holy hell did you see what that writer did with this character and their OC? What if they… yas, Royal, you go!
I still feel like it’s lazy, tho. Like, are you really developing as a writer if most of the imagining has already been done?
This took me longer to understand. But the short answer is that yes, absolutely you are developing as a writer. I can say this so confidently because worldbuilding, plot-developing, and character invention are still just some aspects of what good writing is all about.
Being able to move within and build upon a world, recognizing opportunities within a plot for expansion and development, and character development are also important. And many writers who have ample skill with the first things actually struggle because they’re weak in the next few things. They spend a lot of time constructing a whole world and peopling it, but the rest of the story is cobbled together.
Fanfiction hones certain skills extremely well. In order to write a fic that resonates with other fans of the same fandom, you have to write the existing characters consistently. Which means you have to know this character so well that you can introduce new people and new scenarios and the character can grow and develop while still retaining the voice and features that make up who they are. Most fans like their fic to be at least somewhat canon-compliant (following the original plot, lore, etc.). So you have to be able to identify which scenes or plot devices in the original lend themselves to your story idea and the characters you’re writing. And anytime you’re doing these things, you’re practising your writing skills, and that is never wasted.
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My Top 10 Favorite Songs From Jack and the Cuckoo-Clock Heart: Concept Album and Movie
Here I will rank my top 10 favorite songs between the movie and concept album versions of Jack and the Cuckoo-Clock Heart. I personally believe that the French concept album songs are quite different from the translations in the English movie, so I will rank them independently. That means that one song may end up on this list twice for the reasons I will explain as we go down the list. Let’s start from number 10:
10. “Mademoiselle Clé”
As simple and intimate as this scene in the movie is, I’m going to have to put the French version on this list. Mainly because it stays a bit more true to the scene in the novel which is much less PG than the movie. The French song shares the line “...she works her Blue Fairy magic on me, like in Pinocchio, but more real. Except it’s not my nose that’s growing longer.” The implications of that quote in the novel and the French song are obvious, but are much more loosely intimated in the film. Also, I simply prefer the composition of the French album song over the movie version.
You can find the French song from the concept album here on Dioysos’ official Youtube channel and the scene from the movie here on a fan’s Youtube channel.
9. “Tais-Toi Mon Coeur”
This song can only be found in the concept album and corresponds more directly to the plot of the book than the movie. The title means “Be Quiet my Heart” (or, more aggressively, “shut up, my heart”). It is such a catchy song and the old music video associated with it has a really cool animation style which some hoped would have been the style of the entire movie, but alas.
You can find the official song here on Dionysos’ official Youtube channel and the music video here on a fan’s Youtube channel.
8. “Flamme A Lunettes”
There are actually three versions of the song “Flame with Glasses” because it also shows up in the book. The book version is quite short, and is actually the most similar to the movie for that reason. However, the song in the concept album encapsulates more of the action in the novel itself, not just the song that Miss Acacia sings. Additionally, the imagery in the song from the album is much richer and Jack and Miss Acacia’s banter goes on for a little longer. Even though the scene in the movie is visually intriguing and captures some of the imagery with its setting, I’m going to have to put the album version on this list.
You can find the French song from the concept album here on Dionysos’ official Youtube channel and the scene from the English movie here on a fan’s Youtube channel.
7. “L'école De Joe”
“The School of Joe” can only be found in the movie in its instrumental form, so I don’t want to make a direct comparison to the lyric version in the album. However, I don’t think I have to. Both incarnations capture the same menacing energy and climactic build, and what the movie may lack in lyrics it sure makes up for in the scene. And while I hate to put Joe nearly halfway up my list, the song is just too powerful to put any lower.
You can find the French song from the concept album here on Dionysos’ official Youtube channel.
6. “Malagueña”
Doing the research on the Spanish songs in the album and the movie sure gave me a run for my money because I had no idea about the multilingual talents of Olivia Ruiz. She both voices and sings Miss Acacia in the French movie, the concept album (which is in French, of course), as well as the Spanish songs in both (if not all) of the translations of the movie. Her version of “La Malagueña”, a traditional Mexican Huapango song, was originally covered on two of her albums [1], and is of course identical in the concept album and the movie because there is no need to translate it. It was tough for me to choose between “Malagueña” and “Quijote”, but for the wonderful and fantastical elements surrounding it in the movie and for the great references to quotes from the novel during the scene, “Malagueña” makes it on this list.
You can find the song from the concept album here on Dionysos’ official Youtube channel and an amazing live performance of it by Olivia Ruiz here.
5. “Le Jour Le Plus Froid du Monde”
Thanks to this Youtube video and the fanart included in it, “The Coldest Day on Earth” was the first song I ever heard from the “La Mécanique Du Cœur” concept album and was how I discovered the movie in the first place. I have always been an enthusiast for anything vaguely steampunk, and a rhythm set by cuckoo-clocks is exactly the kind of song I’m looking for. Once I figured out what the French lyrics actually mean, I knew I needed to find out more about this weird world. It took me exactly two years to get my hands on a copy of the book after watching the movie, and I discovered the entire concept album around that time as well. Perhaps this song should be number one on this list because it is literally the reason I have this blog to begin with, but I just can’t deny how much I love the other songs at the top of this list.
I also can’t fail to mention the sort of reprised version of the song, called “Le Réveil Des Coucous Vivants”, or “The Awakening of the Living Cuckoos” which makes an appearance very early in the movie, but is actually the last song on the concept album. If you want to experience an amazing example of how cuckoos can be used as incredibly haunting musical instruments, I recommend you check it out.
You can find the French song from the concept album here on Dionysos’ official Youtube channel here is the link to “Le Réveil Des Coucous Vivants” on their channel as well.
4. “La Panique Mécanique”
I absolutely love how much this song builds and how it captures the experience of traveling on a train alone for the first time. This song does make a shortened appearance in the movie during Jack’s train ride, but I’m not a huge fan of how they altered the lyrics. Another thing that makes the French album version so much more striking than the English movie version is Alain Bashung’s [2] performance of Jack the Ripper’s lines. His voice is so mysterious and menacing and creates the perfect bridge into the chaotic latter portion of the song. Perhaps it is my relative lack of exposure to a variety of French voices, but his rendition just hits different than the English one in my opinion.
You can find the French version from the concept album here on Dionysos’ official Youtube channel. Unfortunately I can’t find a good link to the scene in the movie, so you will have to do some digging yourself if you are interested.
3. “Jack Et La Mécanique Du Cœur”
In third place is the French concept album version of the titular song “Jack Et La Mécanique Du Cœur”. It is the very first song on the concept album and serves as a sort of summary for the plot and kind of resembles a Greek chorus [3] that speculates what our protagonist Jack is going to do. It includes some interjection from Georges Méliès and ends with him saying “Et maintenant, bon film” (”And now, enjoy the film”), which I find very cute since it’s sort of like we are watching Méliès’ own film adaption of the story, which he tells Jack during the movie that he could very well make.
You can find the French concept album version here on Dionysos’ official Youtube channel.
2. “Jack and the Cuckoo-Clock Heart” (English version from the end credits of the movie)
Maybe this is a cop-out, but I just couldn’t decide which version of this song to put on this list, so I included both. After much deliberation, I decided to put the English version at number two instead of three. It seems sacrilegious somehow, but I just had to put it a little higher for a couple of reasons. One, I discovered it first so it lodged itself in my consciousness before the French version did, and two, I just can’t get over Orlando Seale’s voice in this song. Of course Mathias Malzieu is completely unparalleled, but there is something about Seale’s optimistic and gallant tone that is completely enrapturing.
It’s sort of a bummer that this amazing song only shows up at the very end of the credits, but I must admit it is a difficult song to place anywhere else in the film considering the inexplicable presence of Méliès (which makes it hard to put at the beginning for the sake of the plot). But, it also doesn’t make sense at the end since it’s a summary of what we just watched and the final line tells us to “enjoy the film” as the last few credits roll up on the screen. Regardless, I should be happy that the song was ever translated into English because I can thank it for keeping my interest and passion for the story alive.
You can find the English version here on a fan’s Youtube channel.
1. “L’Homme Sans Trucage”
And finally, number one. You’d think “Jack and the Cuckoo-Clock Heart” would have taken this spot considering how much I went on about it, but “L’Homme Sans Trucage” (”The Man Without Special Effects”) from the concept album has an absolutely tangible feeling of adventure and boundlessness with instrumentals that are out of this world. Who else but Dionysos can mix record-scratching, keyboard, banjo, drums, and more simultaneously and make it sound that amazing? The song perfectly captures the “coming of age” theme of the story, and the imagery in the song is beyond inspiring.
I also need to mention the reference in the title and in the chorus to Méliès’ diary in the story which he titled “The Man without Special Effects” (or “The Man Who Was No Hoax” per the English translation of the novel). That diary in both the movie and the novel is Méliès’ retelling of his time spent with Jack (which is why I think putting the song “Jack and the Cuckoo-Clock Heart” in the beginning of the movie would be so cool) and is emphasized a bit more in the novel than in the movie. That diary makes a sort of legend out of Jack, and its title implies entirely different layers of meaning between the movie and the novel.
To give the movie some credit, though, the scene is a lot of fun, and I love how they styled it à la Méliès with paper cutouts and the reference to “The Impossible Voyage” [4] by the real Georges Méliès. The scene stays true to the surrealism of the story, and is definitely quite enjoyable. But, in the end, I have to give “L’Homme Sans Trucage” the number one spot on my list.
You can find the French version from the concept album here on Dionysos official Youtube channel and the scene from the movie here on Shout! Factory’s Youtube channel.
There are 31 tracks (including interludes) on the complete “La Mécanique Du Cœur” concept album, so of course I couldn’t include them all here. The styles and tones of each song are so unique, and I think the entire album is worth a listen. I first listened to the entire album roughly concurrently with the plot of the novel, and that was a pretty great way to experience it, in my opinion. But, if you’re like me and you aren’t exactly fluent in French, it’s not like you’ll get many spoilers from the songs.
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All quotes are from the film and/or novel “Jack and Cuckoo-Clock Heart” by Mathias Malzieu unless otherwise specified.
Sources and additional information:
[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malague%C3%B1a_Salerosa
[2] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alain_Bashung
[3] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greek_chorus#:~:text=A%20Greek%20chorus%2C%20or%20simply,voice%20on%20the%20dramatic%20action.
[4] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Impossible_Voyage
#jack and the cuckoo-clock heart#jack et la mécanique du coeur#mathias malzieu#olivia ruiz#malaguena salerosa#georges melies#orlando seale#the impossible voyage
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A Palette Full of You (1)
Summary: Glimpses into Colette and Lloyd's lives as they grow up together, learn who they are, and fall in love with each other.
(Written for Colloyd Week 2021)
Fandom: Tales of Symphonia Characters: Lloyd Irving, Colette Brunel, Anna Irving, Kratos Aurion Relationships: Colette Brunel & Lloyd Irving, Colette Brunel/Lloyd Irving Rating: G Chapter: 1 of 6 Word Count: 6218 Mirror Link: AO3 Original Post Date: 09/06/2021
Chapter Title: Castle Invaders!!
Chapter Summary: Colette and Lloyd enjoy a sunny day at the beach as children. A sandcastle is made, but does it continue to stand for long?
(Colloyd Week Day 1: Childhood Friends)
Notes: 1st chapter of my multi-chapter Colloyd week 2021 fic, featuring my headcanon of asexual Colette. It's also a modern AU set in Singapore.
Chapter list Full fic Next chapter
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8-years-old
"Lloyd! The water's here!" Colette called out, setting down the heavy bucket filled with water next to Lloyd. Mission accomplished, and without a single hitch! Mostly. She wasn't going to mention how she nearly spilt all of the water when another girl's arm missed her by a hair's width. Or how her heart was still pounding from the close call. "We can get started with the sandcastle now." Lloyd was so occupied pushing sand into one giant pile that he hadn't even noticed her approach.
Having finally gotten his attention, Lloyd stared at her blankly for a few seconds before seeming to come to his senses. Scrambling to his feet, he began to shovel the pile of sand into the bucket. Overhead, a seagull's cry rent the air, barely audible over the screaming of all the children and adults on the beach that was packed to the brim, the two vastly different in tone. "Thanks, Colette! We might need another bucket of water, though. I don't think this is enough."
"Oh, I can -"
"Nah, I'll get the next one. It would only be fair!" Lloyd grinned a toothy smile at her, prominently displaying the gap from the baby tooth that had merrily vacated his mouth last week. She herself currently had a loose tooth that she absent-mindedly pushed at with her tongue, until she pushed too hard and caused a slight stab of pain. It would likely fall out soon.
"Come on, then! This sandcastle won't build itself alone!" Lloyd said, grabbing her hand with his, rough with the individual granules of sand sticking to it.
Colette giggled and joined him, attempting to lift some of the wet sand from the bucket to start making the base of their castle - only to find that the sand seemed to have solidified into one giant clump that refused to budge from its snug home. Every attempt to separate a tiny handful yielded a sucking sound that seemed to make the sand stick together even more, ever more determined to stay with their granular siblings. With a final huff, she put all her strength behind her arms - only to flop back down onto the beach with nothing in her hands.
"That's - hard!" Lloyd grunted, faced with a similar predicament and having no choice but to give up. The sand would remain in the bucket for the foreseeable future, it seemed. He wiped his hands on his red swimming trunks before offering it to Colette, helping her back up.
"Didn't think the sand would stick together this much," Colette muttered. This was why her father had advised them not to use a bucket, huh? She stole a glance towards the collection of colourful beach umbrellas that was close by, where their parents were taking shelter from the sun. They were sitting on the same striped picnic blanket where breakfast had occurred earlier, having a relaxed conversation over cans of lemonade while keeping a watchful eye on the two of them. Noishe was there too, taking a morning nap by the blanket.
Spotting Colette, her father waved cheerily, before taking another chug from his can.
She and Lloyd had been so excited to finally visit the beach during the March Holidays. They'd been jumping up and down on the car seats, sticking their noses into the window, and chattering non-stop on the journey here, giving Noishe, curled up on Lloyd's lap, no peace to sleep in. Her father, who had been sitting with them in the backseat, had just watched with an exasperated smile, having given up on asking them to calm down when his pleas had fallen on deaf ears.
The two of them would finally get to see the breathtaking ocean they had witnessed multiple times when watching The Little Mermaid, their favourite movie to watch together. Lloyd loved the vibrant ocean and the possibility of an entire unexplored world full of magic under the waves. She liked the colours and the cute designs, and the absolutely beautiful story of true love overcoming all. They’d watched it one time too many, until Flounder and Sebastian easily visited her in her dreams.
Aunt Anna had made clear upon their arrival her two conditions for letting them in the ocean. Firstly, that an adult had to accompany them at all times. Understandable, given the terrifying power of the ocean with its roiling waves, that had only been impressed on her upon actually seeing it with her own eyes. Secondly, and expectedly, that they had to wait an hour after breakfast, the familiar argument of "You have to digest all those cheese sandwiches!" leaving Aunt Anna's mouth.
They might as well make the most of the one hour, so Colette had suggested building a sandcastle to pass the time. It was one of the activities that she thought was a must-do for a first-time beach trip. After all, where else were they going to find all the sand they needed?
Lloyd had happily agreed. She was glad to see him finally perk up after wilting a little at the reminder that he needed to wait - days were much better when they were both smiling, and it wouldn't do for Lloyd to spend his first time at the beach with a frown on his face. So they'd dug up the shovels and the buckets from the car's trunk and set out to make the best sandcastle ever, one that reached the sky! They weren't going to let their lack of experience hinder them!
Perhaps that goal was a tad too ambitious. But that sure wouldn't stop her from trying!
Having made zero progress in getting the sand out of the bucket, Lloyd resorted to upending the bucket and slamming on the bottom with his hands until the sand all came out in a single bucket-shaped mound. Colette spared a worried glance at the plastic bucket, which had let out a groan. She had no clue how sturdy it was. Hopefully, it wouldn't break.
"Come on, Colette, let's do this!"
"Yeah!"
Lloyd knelt to start tamping the sand into shape, and Colette joined him.
"Could you pass the shovel?"
"We're out of water again!"
"How about we try doing this?"
Those were the only words that left their mouths as they worked together, their hands brushing. There was also the occasional peal of laughter that slipped out of either of them at something funny the other had done. Otherwise, they were in perfect sync, without the need to talk. They could just adapt to the other's actions. She remained focussed on her task, tuning out the sounds of life around her and getting her hands covered in sand, until there was even sand under her nails.
The sun continued to get higher on its arc, its rays falling on all the bare skin revealed by her navy blue one-piece swimsuit. It felt like she was roasting alive. Sweat ran down the sides of her face and her throat was dry. A can of cold lemonade sounded really nice now. She was glad, at least, that their parents had insisted they put on sunscreen, and had helped slather the two of them in it from head to toe, Lloyd squirming the whole time. If not for that, she would surely have an excruciating sunburn by now. From what she'd seen of her classmates who had returned from last year's March Holidays with red and peeling skin, she was glad to avoid it.
They made steady progress, bar the few close calls where she nearly flung the shovel into the sandcastle. It slowly took shape with a few more water-gathering trips and repeats of the not very effective bucket-slamming tactic, until finally, it was complete. Even the bucket had survived all the abuse! Colette sat back on her haunches to observe their handiwork, a smile lighting up her face.
Their masterpiece.
Okay, it wasn't a masterpiece. It was nowhere near perfect, or even amazing.
A messy tower stood before her eyes, tapering from a wide base to a thin top. It was tiny at thirty centimetres high. From the middle onwards, the tower slanted to the side, a result of Lloyd pushing just a bit too hard. It resembled the Leaning Tower of Pizza now, but, just like that mysterious tower, their tower was still standing through some unknown magic. Using a random stick he’d picked up off the sand, Lloyd had etched a smiley face with wobbly lines into the side of the tower. He'd stuck the stick into the top to act as a flag, exclaiming that the Disney castle had a flag on top of the main building, so theirs would too! She'd also dug a trench, in which Lloyd had poured the extra seawater remaining in the bucket to create a moat. Now no villain could mount a successful attack on their castle! Not even the Goombas or turtles they stomped every weekend in Super Mario Brothers.
The moat had dried up in seconds as the surrounding sand had absorbed the water, but it was the effort that counted. And it looked cool for a while!
Their castle was pretty average compared to the other ones she could see on the beach, and most definitely was nothing compared to the grand, detailed designs she had seen that one time on TV. But she had fun building it, and it was something she'd made together with Lloyd, so it was worth being proud over. That was all that mattered.
It was nice to imagine their castle standing here for all eternity, even if she knew it wouldn't last once they left. She and Lloyd's castle, powerful and durable, even against the worst of enemies!
"Looks good!" A hand landed on her head, prompting Colette to look up and see Aunt Anna waving a polaroid camera around. She could see her reflection, wide-eyed and smiling, in the sunglasses resting on the bridge of Aunt Anna’s nose. Aunt Anna must really love that pair of sunglasses; she always wore them whenever she was driving her and Lloyd to school in the mornings. To protect her eyes from the sun, and to look stylish while doing so? Who knew.
Aunt Anna had put on a giant sunhat, the brim so wide that it cast a shadow over Colette's face. "Come on, let me take a picture of you two with the sandcastle!" Aunt Anna said, raising the polaroid camera to her eye and miming clicking the button.
After a bunch of poking and prodding from Aunt Anna to get them into the best position, with loud protests from Lloyd’s end, they were finally ready to have their photo taken. For the sandcastle to actually show up in the picture, they had to stand behind it. Lloyd looped his arm around her shoulder, while she gave Lloyd bunny ears with her fingers. She would never give up the opportunity to do so. "Say cheese!" Aunt Anna yelled, raising the polaroid camera with a massive smile and clicking the button, the camera emitting a flash of light that blinded Colette for an instant.
"Can I move now, Mom? And can we finally go swimming? Pleaseeeeee?" Lloyd whined, plopping back down onto the sand before he even received his answer. Colette blinked rapidly, still trying to get rid of the spots in her vision.
"Oh, the pictures are gonna turn out sooooo cute," Aunt Anna muttered, retrieving the printed-out polaroid from the camera and beginning to shake it, waiting for it to develop. She glanced at Lloyd, sulking in the sand, and gave him the thumbs-up. Lloyd perked up immediately and scrambled to his feet to run off, only to stop in his tracks after hearing Aunt Anna's next words. "Wait a moment, would you? Your father is gonna follow you and he's still coming over."
"Dad! Hurry up!" Lloyd yelled, impatiently hopping from one leg to the other as Uncle Kratos leisurely walked over. Noishe, having finally caught up on his beauty sleep, ran over too, barking in excitement. Colette giggled, crouching down and reaching her hand out for Noishe to bump his snout against with every round he made around Lloyd's legs. Would Noishe be joining them in the ocean? It was against the rules to bring dogs into the swimming pool, but there was no such rule here. Maybe Noishe secretly liked water! There was no better chance to find out!
And the more the merrier!
"No going further than the bobbing spheres, okay? And stay close to your father!"
"I know, Mom! I know! You told me this three times already!"
"Just checking," Anna replied cheerfully, ruffling Lloyd's hair and prompting a scowl to pop onto Lloyd’s face.
"You got it too, right?" Her father asked her, having come up behind her.
"Yes, Dad!" Colette replied, getting to her feet and preparing to run down to the ocean. "I promise I'll -"
Unfortunately, Colette didn’t get to finish her sentence. One small step forward and her foot caught instantly against the spare shovel still sticking up in the sand, which had completely escaped her notice. Everyone, even Noishe, stopped what they were doing. All three adults stretched out their arms in a desperate attempt to stop her fall, but they were too far away to have any hope of catching her. Flailing her arms, she fell, the world seeming to go by in slow motion as the tower of golden sand became increasingly larger in her vision.
Until she crashed right through the tower she and Lloyd had spent the last hour crafting, in her unstoppable path to face-planting on the beach. Her hand felt the roughness of tightly-packed sand as that sand exploded in every direction. Closing her eyes against the rain of sand, she threw her arms out to cushion her fall, finally landing on the sand.
The action now over, Colette pushed herself into a sitting position, wincing. No visible wounds anywhere. No blood. No lasting pain. At least the sand was somewhat soft.
Oh no… Heart sinking in her chest, she stared at the mess that had once been a glorious sandcastle, now just a sad misshapen mound of sand. The top of the tower had been scattered everywhere.
She could feel everyone’s eyes on her, an awkward silence arising even as noise continued to surround them. She'd ruined everything with her clumsiness again... She wanted to hide, but there was nowhere to hide out here in the open. Maybe she could dig a hole in the sand and hide forever...
"Colette! Are you alright?" Lloyd’s voice broke the silence, a helping hand offered to her as he stared down in concern.
"Yeah." She took his hand, using her other to try brushing off the grains of sand now sticking to her whole body. There was so much... She'd never get all of it off. She opened her mouth, ready to apologise.
“Come on, there’s no time!” Lloyd interrupted before she could even say anything, tugging on her hand as he had done before. She was being pulled in the direction of the waves, stumbling a little in surprise at the sudden movement. “Our castle was attacked by enemies, and they’ve fled to the water! We need to pursue them! Right?”
Lloyd winked at her, a huge grin on his face. She could read the message in his actions loud and clear: there was no need to apologise. Just get back to the fun!
“Right!” She replied, wiping the hesitance from her expression and replacing it with a smile, worries already forgotten. The ocean would be one solution to all the sand stuck to her skin!
“Race you!” Lloyd yelled, letting go of her hand and abruptly taking off. She cried out indignantly in response, chasing after him as fast as she could, Noishe following hot on their heels with his tongue lolling out of his mouth, ears flapping up and down. Their yells about being first to get in the ocean reached Kratos’ ears, who simply sighed at their familiar antics.
~~~
“Here,” Lloyd said, pressing something small into her palm. He and Colette were both drenched from head to toe from all the swimming and water wars that had occurred. The tips of her hair brushed her shoulders, leaving tiny trails of water behind and causing water droplets to slide down her arms. Not even Noishe had been spared, shaking his matted fur furiously. The water had been colder than she'd expected, but all the running around had helped to combat it. In fact, she was exhausted from all the activity, the smile on her face so wide her cheeks hurt and her throat hoarse from all the screaming and laughter.
Now that they were on dry ground again, they were standing by the picnic blanket, waiting for their parents to return with towels. Whereafter their parents would hold the familiar ritual of smothering them with towels, squeezing each strand of hair dry.
In her hand was a seashell, rough against her skin - not the stereotypical blue ones that were always on the pages of the Chinese textbook whenever the ocean was mentioned, with its fan shape and equally-spaced out ridges - but rather an off-white colour, fantastically curved with little spikes sticking out of it to form a geometric pattern. It had a gaping opening that revealed its pink insides.
“Dad said it's called a conch shell,” Lloyd explained. “Snails hide in them, but this one is empty. I found it just now!”
“Oh, it’s so pretty! I haven’t been able to find any...” She’d been scouring the beach to no success. The most she’d spotted among the sand were tiny fragments of what had once been seashells, smashed to smithereens by the wrath of the ocean.
“Put it against your ear! I tried it, and it really works!”
“The sound of the ocean...?”
Colette lifted the conch shell, aligning the hole with her ear and closing her eyes to listen closely, covering her other ear with her hand. She and Lloyd had read about this many times before - how a shell contained the entire ocean within it.
And it did. It was a strange, mysterious sound - like there was water within the small shell lapping against its walls, somehow, even though that wasn’t the case, for any water would have leaked out of the opening by now. It was almost like she herself was surrounded by the ocean, as the shell in her hand must have been as it was carried by the currents to stop on this beach. What a lonely journey that must have been, alone in the deep darkness.
She opened her eyes to see Lloyd’s smiling face, his hand gently pulling hers away from her ears.
“Did you hear it?”
“Yeah. That was incredible...”
“Well, the shell is for you.” Lloyd gestured, grinning.
“Oh, really?” She gasped. “No, you found it, so it should be yours!”
Colette tried to pass it back to Lloyd, but he refused. He only closed her fingers around the shell with his hand before hopping just out of arm's reach. Infuriating.
“Nah, it’s fine! Keep it! I insist!”
Colette pouted, knowing Lloyd wouldn’t budge on the issue. There were times she wished he wasn’t so stubborn. There was no way she was going to win this.
“I’m sorry I can’t give you one in return… I can try and find one now!” she suggested, already scanning the beach as she took a step forward.
“No need for that!” Lloyd reassured her, returning to her side and grabbing her arm to stop her. “Mom said we aren’t staying here for much longer after we’re done cleaning up. You can just make it up to me some other time.”
“Alright! That’s a promise, then. Thank you for the gift,” Colette said, feeling the ridges of the seashell dig into her skin as she tightened her hold. They had gifted each other little trinkets like these many times before, mostly curious objects they came across whenever they played at the playground. She kept every single gift from Lloyd, just as she would this one. Anything she got from her best friend was precious.
Colette could see the adults walking over in the corner of her vision, holding the aforementioned towels and… Popsicles! Oh, those would be delicious. But it also meant her time at the beach was coming to a close.
Colette knew she wouldn’t ever forget this day. This sunny day, filled with joy, fun and wonder…
~~~
28-years-old
"Remember this one?" Lloyd laughed, pointing to the open scrapbook sitting in his lap. His finger sat on a polaroid that was held in place on the page by 4 pieces of cellophane tape, one of which was crooked, and another of which was starting to peel. Colette tapped her finger on the yellowing polaroid as well, recalling how she had gotten it from Aunt Anna and proceeded to stick it in her sketchbook. Words filled the rest of the page, denoting the events of the day, together with a doodle of a seagull sitting on a giant seashell. If she recalled correctly, this was one of the last pages of her scrapbook before she'd gotten too busy to keep it up. It was fun while it lasted, though, absolutely cramming the border of each page with a horrendous amount of washi tape.
She and Lloyd's happy faces peered up at her from the polaroid, a tiny, not very impressive sandcastle visible in front of them. The weather on that day, a foggy memory but not forgotten, for it could never be truly forgotten, couldn't be any more of a contrast to the rain currently slapping against the windows of their apartment, turning the world outside into pure white as the rain obscured all. The wind howled and caused the window panes to rattle in their housings. The air was chilly, fogging up the windows and further blocking their view of the world outside.
Colette should have been shivering on the bed in her denim shorts, but she was nice and toasty instead, legs covered by a thick blanket. She was resting against the backboard, legs stretched out, hair falling to mid-back in messy tangles. The blanket itself had the sewn pattern of dogs doing various things: jumping over fences, dozing off on clouds, running with bones in their mouths. It was adorable! And most of all, it reminded her of another dog who used to run circles around her feet and snuggle on the blankets with her, but who was no longer with them.
She’d even gone the extra mile and put on socks and a hoodie. Lloyd had taken one look at her and… hadn’t done anything else, because this was normal behaviour from her when she was cold. He’d long since accepted it.
Plus, she was leaning against the ultimate source of warmth! Lloyd, who was also under the blanket, legs pressed snugly against hers. Just as always, he could somehow survive the cold in just jeans and an old T-shirt, showing absolutely no signs of being affected. No shivers, nothing. It was impressive. He took "warm-blooded" to the next level.
Her entire body still felt tingly from the cups of hot coffee that Lloyd had brewed in the kitchen earlier. He’d done hers perfectly without even having to ask, the knowledge of how to do so having long been ingrained in his memory. “Precisely half a teaspoon of sugar and half a cup of milk,” he’d said in a sing-song manner, the warm orange of the kitchen’s ceiling light falling upon him and his gentle smile as she’d stood next to him cutting apples. The rhythmic sound of the knife hitting the cutting board, the clinking of the metal spoon against the side of the porcelain cup, and the thudding of raindrops against the window had been the only sounds filling the kitchen.
They’d drunk the coffee first, backs against the countertop and their eyes meeting across the rims of their cups, his hand finding hers in the little space between them. The hot liquid had slid down their throats with ease, settling warm in their bellies. Having drunk his coffee all at one go as he always did, Lloyd had waited for her to finish. He hadn’t said a single word, preferring to maintain the comfortable silence. The only thing he’d done was rub her fingers with his thumb.
They’d then taken turns popping the apple slices in each other’s mouths, the flesh crunchy when they sank their teeth into it, the sweet juice from the fresh fruit a refreshing contrast from the bitter liquid they’d just consumed. Lloyd, as messy an eater as always, had left little bits of apple at the corner of his mouth like tiny yellow spots that she’d had to brush away with her fingers.
Today was Sunday, the day where they both didn't have work to do, unless they were handling some big project with a pending deadline, and had some time to themselves. Their favourite activities to do on this wonderful day of the week included marathoning Disney movies, playing video games together, and going out to their favourite destinations. They also weren't opposed to just lounging on bed together, or taking some alone time.
But today was also a rainy day. She'd actually been woken up by the first claps of thunder in the early morning. The rain had no business being this heavy after the conclusion of the monsoon season, but Mother Nature was fickle, and they could do nothing but accept their given lot. No going out to the Botanic Gardens as they'd originally planned. The only thing they could do was stay home, unless they wanted to catch a cold on purpose.
It was Lloyd who had found her old scrapbook in a corner of their room while aimlessly wandering around the apartment, the book having gathered a thin layer of dust that made her sneeze when he brought it over. She'd forgotten it was sitting on one of the shelves. He had suggested looking over it, since they had nothing better to do. They had just gone through Frozen, Tangled and The Little Mermaid last week - the plots were still fresh in their minds. More fresh than usual. She could recite the entire script of The Little Mermaid from memory if she needed to.
What better time was there to reminisce than with their second anniversary coming up? What better place to do so than in the bedroom they shared, its corners teeming with keepsakes and memories, absolutely overflowing with their love for each other? Just being in here for a minute was enough to make her heart feel warm.
The framed pictures hanging on the walls and sitting on the nightstand - of them and their parents; of the two of them under a sky full of stars; of them and their friends, laughing and popping bottles of wine, fitted in elegant dresses and stylish suits. There were many more pictures, kept in the various albums lining the bookshelf above the bed, which she occasionally took down to look through on days when she was feeling rather nostalgic. Staring up at her from the pages were contented faces from all throughout time, allowing her to track her progress from days long past to the person she was today.
The Siberian Husky plushie she was currently hugging to her chest. The soft fur felt incredible to the touch, and it was so comforting to just run her hands through the fur, tightening her fingers on tufts of it. Behind those beady black eyes were more, however, a significance that no one else but herself could see. A precious memory of a carnival and the time they were finally honest with each other; a step she had been terrified to take but which she’d mustered up the courage to, in order to join Lloyd at the other end of the open door and grab the encouraging hand he offered her. She had stumbled many times along the way, but Lloyd had steadied her every time. She’d gambled on the chance, but it had all been worth it - for she had managed to find her home in Lloyd, and it had all led to the beautiful life she led today, where she got to see his happiness every day.
The wall painted over with galaxies, swirls of pinks and purples and blues, and a single adorable dog in a spacesuit, which they had hand-painted when they first moved in until they were both splattered with paint and giggling.
And of course, the two matching, nondescript metal bands, one lying atop the other on the nightstand.
"You destroyed the sandcastle not soon after, right?" Lloyd said.
"Hey!" Colette pouted, poking Lloyd's side. "Don't tease me."
Lloyd shifted his body away from her attacking finger, still smiling warmly. "I'm not teasing you. I'm just stating what happened." He turned around and retaliated by poking her on the nose, sending her reeling back in a fit of giggles. "It was fun, though!"
"It was," she agreed, struggling to hold back further laughter, bubbling up within her chest like an uncontrollable fountain. “You gifted me a conch shell afterwards. Remember?”
“Of course I remember, silly. It’s sitting on your shelf right now.”
That it was. She’d kept it all these years, the passage of time causing its colour to fade. In all other aspects, it was perfectly conserved, looking just the same as it had on the day he’d pressed it into her hand. She lifted it up to her ear sometimes, just to listen to the sound of the ocean.
Colette flipped to the next page of the scrapbook, looking over all of the memories contained there. Her childhood had been filled with joy, in no small part due to Lloyd, who took every opportunity he could to make her days fun-filled and exciting as he strived to make her face light up with a smile. There were moments where she was suddenly overwhelmed with a great sense of gratefulness for the fact that, out of an infinite number of possible outcomes, she had met Lloyd when she was young. For she was so incredibly fortunate, more fortunate than most, to have met someone who loved and accepted her for everything that she was.
She placed one hand on his cheek, fingers splayed, and turned his head to face her, his warmth spreading through her cold fingers from that one point of contact. Lloyd leaned automatically into her touch.
“Colette...?” Lloyd whispered, leaning automatically into her touch. His eyes searched hers, as he slowly came to understand what she was about to do. This close, she could make out each individual eyelash, attached to the eyelids that fluttered closed over russet eyes. Most people would conclude Lloyd was plain. Average, even. There’d been people who asked her upfront why she’d chosen to settle for him, when according to their honest opinion, her beauty could have landed her much better. They didn’t understand. She was the one fortunate enough to know his love and the miracle of such an incredible person staying by her side when there were so many things she couldn’t give him. A relationship with any other person would have been easier for him, filled with far less of a need for compromise, but he’d chosen her in the end.
Besides, there was beauty in plainness. The daisies that were ignored in favour of the orchids, the mynahs that were overlooked for the orioles. There was beauty to be found there, in the most ordinary of things, the ones people saw every day and had ceased to notice. It was a beauty she itched to capture.
Lloyd, to her, was the most beautiful of them all, a rare treasure that had somehow landed in her hands.
“Shh,” she whispered in return, eyes fluttering shut as she closed the small distance between them. She pressed her lips against his slowly, trying to push behind this one action - the gift she was currently giving - every ounce of the love and appreciation she felt at the moment, enough to fill her heart to the brim. It’d been a while since she’d done this. Two months, maybe? It was a little overdue, having slipped her mind for a time as it always did, no matter how hard she tried to remember. If not for the reminder that had pinged on her phone this morning and made the issue fresh in her mind again, she might have gone another month. She’d have to give him more soon, as per her end of the compromise they had both agreed upon when they’d first started dating, which had served them well all these years. He'd said before that he was alright with getting nothing at all, but that didn't sit right with her. She didn't think it would be fair for him to be the only person giving something up.
Kisses and anything further were always up to her to initiate, since Lloyd, as he’d told her time and time again, wanted her to be comfortable in everything she did. He’d never forced anything on her, content to wait patiently for her to feel ready, whether it be in an hour, a day, a year, or never, perfectly willing to compose their entire relationship on quiet moments spent together and nothing more. She still occasionally struggled with the idea that he was far more than she could ever deserve, even as he gripped her hand tightly and told her she was worth everything. It was getting better with every day she spent in his loving company, the extensive wounds left on her heart in her younger days by a world that told her she would never be enough slowly starting to heal. There would always be scars, but those would fade one day until they were barely visible, until the twinges of pain could barely be felt.
Lloyd’s lips were a little chapped from the cold, unmoving against hers, still tasting faintly of the sweet apple slices from thirty minutes ago. All in all, a pleasant experience.
After a second of shocked stillness, Lloyd came to life again, a small sigh leaving his lips and brushing against hers. His hand came up to cup her ear, his fingers curling in her hair as he kissed her back with nothing but gentleness, always mindful of her boundaries and never pushing her any further. Of course, he had boundaries too. If he’d decided to pull back, she would have respected it. It was the bare minimum she could do for him.
Thirty seconds passed and she pulled away, though not too far, opening her eyes to stare into his. Their hands remained where they were, connecting the two of them.
“Where did that come from?” His words became butterflies, brushing their soft wings against her lips. He tucked her hair behind her ear, his fingers stroking the skin above her ear with the tenderness he always showed her.
“I just felt like saying thank you.” For everything. For all their years together. For all the love he showed her. For the knowledge that Lloyd would continue to stay in her life, for the rest of her time on this wondrous Earth.
Not that long ago, she would have broken away and covered her face with the plushie that was still in her arms, cheeks flushed and too embarrassed to meet Lloyd’s eyes, preferring that he talk to the plushie instead of her. Much like the first kiss, unconventional as it was, that they had shared. Now she could stare unflinchingly with confidence to witness the happiness that bloomed like the most incredible flower on his face.
“Thank you. For the gift,” Lloyd replied, always seconds away from showing his appreciation.
“Shall we look through the rest?” she asked, removing her hand from his cheek to cover the one he had placed on her face, her fingers slotting in perfectly between his as she smiled sweetly.
Here was her sanctuary, where all she knew was serenity and the warmth of loving and being loved.
“Let’s.”
~~~
“Mm.”
Lloyd froze in the middle of flipping to the next page of the scrapbook, watching Colette with eagle eyes. Had he…
But she didn't seem to have awakened. Not really. She made no other sound, only tightened the hold of her arms around his midriff, her face buried in his side and the rest of her lying on her side on the bed. He'd resorted to holding the scrapbook up in order not to accidentally jolt her out of her peaceful sleep. So far, his arms had not started to hurt yet.
Lloyd heaved a sigh of relief, tucking the entirety of the blanket tightly around her shoulders, leaving himself uncovered. Now, swaddled in the blanket, she resembled a cocoon. Adorable. And also what tended to happen each night, as she ended up stealing the blanket eight nights out of ten.
Satisfied that Colette was soundly asleep, Lloyd returned to perusing the contents of the scrapbook, a small smile playing on his lips.
And silence reigned supreme, interrupted only by quiet breathing and the crinkle of paper.
~~~
Next chapter
#fanfiction#multi chapter#colette brunel#lloyd irving#kratos aurion#anna irving#colloyd#colloydweek2021#day 1: childhood friends#tales of symphonia
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Under Her Extra-Large Umbrella - Chris Redfield x Reader (PART 1)
Summary: Chris Redfield has always been an honourable man but the things he's seen at Spencer Mansion leave him no choice. He must infiltrate Umbrella's French laboratory, whatever it takes, even if it means manipulating you. But how far he is ready to go?
Author’s Note: This fanfic involves a Post RE1 / Pre-Code Veronica version of Chris Redfield since it focuses on his trip to Europe that is mentioned in RE2. You will probably notice that I used the letter Chris wrote to his S.T.A.R.S. friends. It is actually what inspired this fan fiction in the first place. Gotta be honest with you, this fanfic made me shed blood, sweat and tears. I guess I rewrote it twice before coming to a rather satisfying version and I must have tear my hair out quite a few times when I was struggling with grammar. (BTW, tell me if you see some terrible grammatical mistakes so that I can correct them) Anyway, as usual, I hope you will like it. Please don’t forget to like/reblog and tell me what you think of it in the comment section.
Tags: Romance, Fluff, SMUT, Explicit Language, Manipulation and Treachery. Angst is come ;-)
Also available on AO3
“Better failing with honour than winning by cheating, son”. Chris could perfectly remember his father telling him those words. It was in 1990. Chris was a seventeen years old teenager finishing his Junior year, and they were driving back home from driving school right after learning he had failed his theory test contrary to that asshole Colin Monroe who had aced it thanks to a crib cheat hidden in his sock. He could also remember that his father’s wisdom had barely consoled him on that day - despite what he had let him believe - and that it had taken him quite some time to swallow the bitter pill and even more time to admit that his father was indeed right and that he should live by this motto. Months actually. Plus a tombstone with his parents’ names on it. Chris never regretted listening to his father. He never regretted promising him that he would do his best to become the man he would have wished him to be. That promise had made him the man he was today. A man who would never stray from the right path however tempting treachery could be. Someone loyal, upright and honourable. Someone his parents would be proud of.
And yet here he was, eight years later, a twenty-five years old cop, breaking the promise he had made his father and doing something so deceitful and selfish it would certainly make him roll over in his grave or wish he were still here to give his son a earful. But today, it was not something as silly as his driving licence that was at stake. It was the justice he owned to his fellow S.T.A.R.S. members, those he had lost at Spencer Mansion and those waiting for him in Raccoon City. It was the security of god knows how many people. This time, Chris had a burden on his shoulders that was way too heavy for him to accept a possible failure. And as terrible as it sounded, he was ready to do something bad for the greater good, whatever the cost, whatever his dead father may think of him from beyond the grave.
“To my bestest S.T.A.R.S. buds,
How are you all doing in that drab, old station? Hanging in there against old Irons? Me? I just got back from a date with a hot chick. Bet you can guess what we got up to under her extra-large umbrella. Europe is amazing. One month is in no way enough to even scratch the surface. Maybe I’ll extend my vacation for another six months. Barry, don’t even think of coming join me. Wouldn’t want to make all the cute girls cry, yeah? So you just leave the babes to me. Jill, if Claire tries to contact you, please let her know I’m OK.”
Chris put down the pen on his nightstand and took a look at his letter one more time with a proud amused smile. He knew that his friends, contrary to Irons, would get the hidden message behind that lame womanizer persona that was so unlike him. And hopefully, maybe the police chief would tell his friends at Umbrella his S.T.A.R.S. poster boy was nothing to worry about and just currently cruising for pussies in Europe.
“Writing to your friends again?” Chris looked up to see you standing in the doorway to his bedroom. You looked very tired, exhausted even, judging by the dark circles under your beautiful eyes, your loosened bun and the way you were leaning against the framework. “Yeah, to give them a small update on my vacation.” Chris folded the letter and put it in the drawer of his nightstand; not very keen on letting you read it. “Tough day?” “You have no idea.” You dropped your bag at the entrance of Chris’ room and went to fall down on his bed, your head on his crossed legs. “Wanna talk about it?” Chris asked as he tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear. “You know I can’t say much. Professional confidentiality and all. ” “I didn’t know working for Umbrella was like working for the CIA.” Chris joked, trying to tone down the disgust he was feeling each time he had to pronounce the word Umbrella. You smiled, too tired to laugh and glanced at Chris who was staring at you.
God, why did you have to be so beautiful and so sweet and yet so not good for him? Why did you have to work for Umbrella? And how did he allow things to be that way between the two of you?
Chris could remember the day he had first seen you, the day he had chosen not be moral and honourable for once in his life. It was almost a month ago. He had been in Paris for a couple days, trying to find a way to infiltrate Umbrella’s French laboratory, which was even more impenetrable than Zone 51, the lab being a real fortress (with automatic secured doors, CCTVs, guards and a severe ‘no visitor allowed’ policy) only accessible if you were the lucky owner of a white and red badge. And you had happened to be one. Leaving the lab for lunch break, happy to finally feel the warm sun on your face, it hadn’t been your beautiful [h/c] hair loosely tied back in a high ponytail or your twinkly [e/c] eyes that had caught Chris’ attention (even though yeah he had noticed). No it had been that badge, that stupid badge carelessly hanging from the front pocket of your lab coat. And it had also been that badge that, unfortunately for you, had made him organise a plan to trick you and get his hands on it, that badge that had made you the victim of his very first treachery.
Your meeting was – unbeknownst to you – the most unnatural meeting ever. Chris had calculated everything. When? Lunch break. Where? The nearby boulangerie where you used to be eating. What to say? “Désolé. Bonjour. Puis-je m’assoir avec vous?” which meant “Sorry. Hi. May I sit with you?” in French of course, because Chris had figured that playing the part of the poor American tourist with a terrible French accent trying to adapt in the city of love would be much more appropriate for the situation. And it had worked. He had sit at your table, had exchanged a few words with you and had found you surprisingly friendly and adorable for an Umbrella employee. But of course, as the majority of Chris’ plans, the meeting hadn’t ended up the way he had imagined (meaning him discreetly stealing your badge) simply because of a tiny detail he hadn’t thought of; you had forgotten your badge at the lab, leaving him no choice but to improvise and organise a second meeting that he had dared called a rendez-vous.
And here he was, weeks later, sharing your apartment and occasionally your bed and definitely bogged in a way bigger deceit that the one he had originally planned, one he knew he would not be able to get out easily. And to answer the question, did Chris manage to get his hands on your badge? Well, yes and it was now safely hidden in his room to be used at the proper moment. If only he could shut his guilt away as well. Things would be much easier.
“What did you do today? Sebastien told me he barely saw you.” Sebastien was your other roommate. A nice redhead guy as well as a curious unstoppable chatterbox. “Oh, nothing interesting. I woke up early to jog at the Bois de Boulogne then I spent the rest of day wandering in the city.” That was half a lie. Yes, he had gone for a run at the Bois de Boulogne but he hadn’t spent the afternoon visiting Paris. No, he had spent his afternoon trying to reach the FBI from a phone booth in order to know if they had some news concerning Irons or the Mansion Incident. Unsuccessfully. “If you want, we can spend this Saturday together. I’m sure I can show you few places you haven’t seen yet.” “Aren’t you working this Saturday?” You were always working on Saturdays. “I need a day off to clear my mind a bit.” That didn’t sound like you. You were too much of a workaholic to prefer spending your Saturday playing guide to your American roommate. “Now, consider me worried. What’s up at work?” Chris asked, concerned not only because he knew something terrible could be happening at Umbrella but also because he couldn’t help but caring about you, Umbrella worker or not. “Those last days have been a bit tough that’s all.” You wouldn’t tell him more. You couldn’t. For so many reasons. “Well in that case, what do you think about me running you a nice hot bath?” You glanced up at Chris. He had drawn your attention in a very interesting way. “That depends. Will you be with me in that bath?” You asked cheekily. “Do you want me too?” He smirked and you put your hand on his neck to pull him closer to your face. You pressed your lips softly against his; sighing in this kiss you had been dreaming about all day, as Chris brought you against his broad chest, his strong arms now holding you tight against him. You felt so safe in his embrace and that’s what you needed right now.
Chris pecked you a couple times before laying one last kiss on your forehead with a tenderness that made you melt in his arms. “I’m gonna go run you that bath, okay?” You nodded. “Join me in ten minutes.” Needless to say that those ten minutes were the longest you had ever experienced. Probably because they gave you plenty of time to dwell on the things you had experienced today at the lab, the things you had seen, the things you wanted to forget and yet couldn’t. You got up and grabbed the bag you had left by the door to search for a small notebook that you opened with a desperate sigh. Then, you took the pen on Chris’ nightstand and started scribbling notes and drawings in it. A habit you had taken a few months ago and that somehow helped you from not cracking up.
You guessed you took more than ten minutes when you heard Chris clear his throat by the door, only wearing a small towel around his wait. Goodness, what a sight. You quickly closed the notebook as soon as you spotted him and put it back in your bag while he pretended not to notice. “Haven’t you forgotten something, mademoiselle?” He smirked and you giggled. “Have I?” “Yes. I think there is a naked man waiting for you in the bathroom.” He joked and you approached him with a amused yet cheeky smile. You put your hands on his chest, feeling his muscles against your palm, as you looked up at his face with a mischievous look. “Is he hot?” “Right now, he is very hot.” He confessed, absolutely in the mood to play with you. “Better not keep him waiting, then.” You purred and you put your hand on one of the straps of your summer dress to gently make it slide along your shoulder. That small sight of your naked skin made Chris hiss and unable to resist the urge to lay a trail of soft warm kisses from your neck down to your shoulder. You could tell the smoothness and the perfume of your skin were driving him crazy as his mouth soon started devouring you and muffled growls began vibrating in his throat. His calloused hands roamed down your back, making you instinctively move your hips closer to his crotch, and he unzipped your dress. It dropped at your feet revealing your body that Chris gazed at with his brown eyes darkened by desire. They lingered on your breasts and you knew he wouldn’t be able to resist the urge to touch them. He loved them too much for that. And so, his hands cupped them and his thumbs brushed your hard nipples. “Gosh, Y/N.” He breathing in, trying to calm his heart pounding in his chest “I can’t wait any longer.” Chris suddenly grabbed you and hoisted you up with incredible ease, hands under your ass, which made you yelp. Nevertheless, you instinctively wrapped your legs around him, making his towel fall to the floor. “Oops. That was not voluntary.” You giggled. So did he. “Right.” And he rushed towards the bathroom, with you in his arms, his lips devouring yours in a hasty burning kiss on the way.
He set you up on the double washstand and quickly locked the door behind him, giving you a brief view of his divine firm behind, though you liked the front as much if not more right now. “What are you looking at like that?” He smirked. Well, his chiselled chest, his carved abs and that big hard cock. What a silly question! But you couldn’t say that and so instead you urged Chris to come closer to you, spreading your legs to welcome him between them. He obeyed but instead of giving you that lustful hug and passionate kiss you were expecting, he crouched in between your legs and remove your panties, kissing your smooth legs, from thighs to feet, as he did. You clearly knew where that would eventually lead but you moaned anyway when you felt Chris put your legs on his shoulders and burry his face in between your thighs. “I told you I’d help you relax.” “What about the hot bath?” You tilted your head towards the bubble bath he had run for you few minutes ago. “Oh don’t worry, we’re getting there. But first you know how much I like licking your pussy.” He winked and his tongue lapped your slit up to your clit without waiting another second. A loud moan escaped your mouth as Chris sucked your bud loudly, pulling it between his lips, and he looked up at you with a proud smirk before focusing his attention back on your pussy. He was good, very good even, way better than any other men you had ever been with. He knew exactly how to please you. He knew where the tip of tongue had to swirl to make you shiver, knew the right spot to suck to make you moan and when to add his fingers to make you cry out his name - which was right now by the way. “Oh my god, Chris!” You mewled loudly as you felt one of his fingers entering you, his mouth still eating your pussy up. Your legs instinctively clenched around your lover’s head while one of your hand found its way in his short hair. Then you heard Chris hum in between your thighs as he kept on licking you and fucking you with his finger, adding one more in the process. You pulled his hair back, forcing him to look at you. “Fuck me, please. Fuck me now.” Chris complied and, after his tongue slid one last time in between your lips, he stood up to catch your lips in a new passionate kiss, making you taste your juices on his expert tongue. You could feel his cock against you, hard and slightly throbbing already, showing how impatient and aroused he was. “Enter that bath, quick.” He ordered with a deep voice that made you shake against his body.
You obeyed and gladly let your burning body sink in the bubbly water, the lukewarm water cooling you off a bit (which wasn’t a bad thing). You were soon followed by Chris who entered the bath with a brutal eagerness that made the water waved a bit too much around both your bodies. “Don’t flood the apartment.” You giggled as you spread your legs to make him a place in the tub. “I can’t promise you that.” He confessed amused, as he grabbed his length in his hand to jerk it off a bit and guide it towards your begging entrance waiting for him under the water. He tickled your swollen clit with his tip before entire you almost smoothly making you draw a sharp breath. “Damn, you’re so tight.” Chris growled as he took hold of the edge of the bathtub above your head to push himself deeper inside of you, enjoying your wet walls around his cock. “You’re fucking big, you mean.” You said with a painful hiss that brutally calmed his ardour and made him consider immediately pulling out of you. “Sorry. Am I hurting you?” He worried, aware his girth needed get some getting used to and afraid that he hadn’t given you enough. “No, no. It’s okay. Just give me sec.” You cleared your throat and adjusted yourself underneath Chris, spreading your lips with your fingers to welcome him the way you both desired. Hard, big and rough. “Okay. Good now.” “You sure?” He asked, definitely not willing to hurt you. You nodded and pressed your lips against him to show him how much you wanted him right now. He got the message and started moving inside of you, slowly yet deeply for now.
You dug your nails in his biceps and started moaning; taking delight in feeling him going in and out of you. It was just the most divine sensation in the world. He filled you so perfectly. “Chris. Please. Faster.” You begged. He complied and started pounding you more quickly, hands still on the edge of the tub, towering you with his muscular body to assert his dominance over you the way you liked it. But it wasn’t enough for you and so you wrapped your legs around him forcing him to go balls deep inside of you. Chris smirked, loving your initiative. “You like it deep and rough, baby?” You cried out. “I didn’t hear you” “Yeeess.” You whimpered with small tears in your eyes. He hammered you harder, spilling water on the bathroom floor, and you clenched your walls around him. “Oh god!” You yelled, out of breath.
He was relentless, so strong, so fast, so deep you could hear his body slam against your skin and echo the splashes of the waves in the tub. “Come here.” He lay on his back and urged you to come and straddle him. And so you climbed on top of him, admiring how handsome he was underneath you. “Guide me into you.” You did as he said and directed his throbbing cock to your wanting pussy, welcoming him again inside your wetness, Hands pressed against his pectorals, you immediately started undulating on top of him, feeling the pleasure coming back in your lower stomach. “That’s it. Keep going.” He whispered, gazing at you.
Chris’ hands crawled up your body to reach your breasts and play with them a bit, delicately pinching your pointy nipples, as you kept riding him. You knew he loved groping them and you also knew how much he loved them in his mouth as well. Therefore you decided to bent over him a bit, just enough for his face to reach your chest, holding on to the wall in front of you with one hand to keep your balance. Chris smiled, understanding perfectly your little game, and pulled one of your tits to his mouth to catch one nipple between his lips and suck it greedily. It was apparently very pleasurable for him (even maybe more than it was for you, and it was a lot) since he started humming and growling loudly. You enjoyed hearing and seeing him like this very much, so much you stopped riding him to focus on this spectacle.
It didn’t last long though as you soon felt you lover’s strong hands gripping your ass to make you bounce on his cock again. “I so want to cum, baby. Please make us both cum.” His words made you shiver of excitement and you locked your lips with his as you started rolling your hips onto him again. But it was certainly not enough for Chris since after few seconds he suddenly grabbed your hips to slam deep in your pussy and relentlessly pound you from underneath. You screamed his name and hold on tight to him. He was very rough, so rough you could barely breathe, but you didn’t mind at all. Soon, you felt your face become so red and your bundle of nerves become atrociously sensitive. You knew you were ready to explode. “Chris. I’m gonna cum.” He put his hand on your clit to stimulate it and help you reach your release, his cock hammering you even harder than before. You clenched your pussy around his throbbing cock, making him groan because of how tighter you suddenly were. “Tell me I can cum in you, baby.” He asked, panting. He was very close too. “Yes, cum in me.” You didn’t need to say it twice as Chris immediately growled in your ear, slowed his pace, and spread his cum in your pussy with a last animalistic grunt as you came undone on top of him, yelling his name, your powerful orgasm almost knocking you out.
You collapsed on him, incapable of remaining straight. “Wow. That was something.” He chuckled, exhausted and out of breath, and so did you. “You’re okay?” You looked up at him, raising your eyebrows. What a ridiculous question. “No, I’m being serious, Y/N. Wasn’t I a bit too rough?” He asked. “You were perfect.” You admitted before kissing him tenderly. “AND SO FUCKING LOUD!!!” You heard shouting from behind the wall. You both looked in the direction of the noise, understanding that your roommate had probably heard everything but despite the embarrassment you couldn’t help but burst out laughing. Poor Sebastien. “Why don’t we get out of that bath and cuddle a bit in bed? The water is getting cold.” Chris offered. “I’d like that very much.” You smiled and managed to leave the tub, using the little energy you had left in your sore body.
As you dried yourself, you saw Chris head towards the door with a towel draped around his waist. “Where are you going?” You asked. “Taking some briefs in my room. See you in your room in a minute?” He smiled and you nodded, impatient to spend the night in his arms. “Can you bring me back my clothes and my bag while you’re at it?” “Sure.”
Chris closed the door behind him and headed towards his room where he put on some clean underwear and picked up your stuff as you had asked. But the moment he grabbed your bag and caught a glimpse of the black notebook he had previously seen you inside, he knew he would probably not join you as soon as he had told you. He watched it first, hesitant, knowing perfectly well that what he had in mind right now was very bad. It was one thing to steal a badge, but spying on you, that was going too far. “No, Chris. No.” He whispered to himself. And yet, he grasped the notebook and opened it. It was a diary of some sort judging by the numerous dates he noticed as he quickly leafed through it. And if it was a diary then it was indeed very private, intimate even, certainly not his to read. He thought about putting it back in your bag for a second, but what if something valuable to his investigation was inside that notebook? “Argh, fuck.” He cursed as he went to the first page.
“May, 14th 1998
Today made me regret the time I was just the intern bringing Professor Rochois his morning espresso. Umbrella is asking more and more of me, and the pressure they put on us workers is driving me insane. But what’s worse is that I’ve got the impression they are not telling us everything, especially concerning the experience the seasoned scientists are conducting in the north wing. But I guess I’ll soon have answers to my questions since Professor Rochois said that he was genuinely impressed by my devotion and was thinking of promoting me.”
Chris frowned, apprehension knotting his stomach. That didn’t sound good at all. He needed to learn more about that even if the moment was far from convenient. You could show up anytime and catch him red-handed. He turned a few more pages, rapidly skimming through some notes he would definitely read another day, until he spotted a weird drawing of some octopus-like creature. What the hell was that thing?
“June, 7th 1998
The NE-a parasite. A parasitic species indented to retain intelligence. It has been developed by Umbrella Europe for years. At first I thought it was just a revolutionary way to cure brain damage. After all, that’s how it had been advertised to me. But the more I study it, the more I believe Umbrella may be up to something else other than treating brain injuries or Alzheimer. I don’t know what and I’m not even sure I want to know.”
Chris pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath. His body was shaking and he could feel fear eating him up and he started imagining terrible things. What if you were involved in the Spencer Mansion incident? No, no. You couldn’t be. And yet, Chris decided to have a look had the entries you wrote in July. He needed to reassure himself. One immediately drew his attention.
“July, 28th 1998
My superiors have been quite on edge lately, something to do with an incident that happened with the American branch of Umbrella from what I overheard. I don’t know what it is though, but I’m sure it must be pretty big because they doubled down security in the lab. The team and I have the impression we are living in a 1984 remake. The CCTVs are always recording and I sometimes have the strange sensation I’m being permanently spied on, even in the locker room. Maybe they have doubts about me because of the many questions I often ask about Project Nemesis.”
Project Nemesis? Y/N, what the hell were you working on in that lab?
#chris redfield#chris redfield x reader#resident evil#fanfic#under her large umbrella#re2 remake inspired fan fiction
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GO Rom Com Spotlight: @forineffablereasons
The amazing @forineffablereasons (also darcylindbergh on AO3) has claimed French Kiss to adapt for Good Omens in the Good Omens Rom Com Event.
For reference, here’s a little background about the source material!
About French Kiss: When Kate (Meg Ryan) learns that her fiance, Charlie (Timothy Hutton), has become smitten with a young Parisian woman, she boards a plane for France. She is seated next to Luc (Kevin Kline), a small-time crook who uses her to smuggle a stolen necklace, leading Luc to the hotel where she's staying to confront Charlie. As Kate and Luc get to know each other, their sarcastic rapport grows warmer, and Kate must decide where her heart truly lies as Charlie tries to win her back.
We spent some time chatting about how the adaptation is coming so far, as well as future plans for it! Now, get to know @forineffablereasons a little better!
* * *
goromcom: So, a little about you. You know how if you open a Tumblr chat with someone you haven't chatted to before, Tumblr tells you two things they post about? I wanted to tell you that yours reports that you post "#darcy answers and #anonymous". You are so attentive and detailed in your answers to the asks you receive!! I really enjoyed taking a few moments to read through them in prep for this interview. <3
forineffablereasons: That actually surprises me, I thought for sure it'd be #good omens and #ineffable husbands! I try really hard to be a positive light in the fandom though and I love chatting with folks (I just recently had a slew of asks for #the good news abt a/c, which was brilliant) so I'm always up for some asks.
goromcom: The GO community on Tumblr can certainly be a lot of fun! But hey, let’s learn a little about your adaptation! You chose to adapt French Kiss as your rom com. Has this movie been a favorite of yours, or is there some other reason you chose it?
forineffablereasons: I love this movie. It's the absolute height of ridiculous. Almost none of it makes any sense at all, loads of it did not age well, but I'm a real sucker for goody-two-shoes (Aziraphale) meets rebel-without-a-cause (Crowley) and discovers his heart-of-gold underneath all that prickly sarcasm. Also I just could not resist Kevin Kline's French accent on Crowley - it's too perfect and too funny.
goromcom: Oh goodness, that French accent of Kevin Kline’s will go down in history as...something, so I’m excited it’s making its way into your story.
What's your favorite moment of your movie, and are you looking forward to presenting it in your adaptation? Any loose plans for that scene that you can share?
forineffablereasons: The wine tasting scene, which I think for anyone who's seen/remembers this film is the obvious choice. Here of course I already have two characters who are familiar with wine and know how to taste it, but I'll be revisiting the notes of that scene, as it were, to build a lovely little moment for Crowley and Aziraphale.
goromcom: Aw, lovely! Other than that scene, do you plan to stick very closely to the beats of the original story, or make bigger changes?
forineffablereasons: I think it will follow the beats of the original story in the sense that it's still about a repressed sort of character chasing after something they ought to just let go, and finding themselves and their love along the way, but there have been a lot of changes. For one, Kevin Kline never rescues Meg Ryan from a French prison. ;)
goromcom: But he SHOULD HAVE! What were the producers of the movie thinking to leave out an opportunity like that?
What's an interesting decision you've made in your planning so far--a notable casting decision, a changing of venue, or some other plan you have to paint Good Omens all over your rom com?
forineffablereasons: I'm keeping it in the GO universe, set about ten years after the end of the world. So Crowley and Aziraphale are still themselves, still an angel and a demon (though a ridiculous, very unconvincing French accent does make an appearance), and aren't strangers meeting on a flight - it's established relationship already at the beginning. Aziraphale will be chasing after something (and someone) else through France, with Crowley along for the ride. We're going heavy on the miscommunication, but in the end it's all about exactly what GO is about: love.
goromcom: I love the love! :)
Okay, I’m going to resist the temptation to keep wheedling details out of you so there are still some surprises left on your posting date.
To wrap up, I am blatantly stealing this last question from The Good Place: The Podcast, but here goes: Tell me something "good". It can be something big or small. It can be a charity you think is doing good work, or you can talk about how great your pet is.
forineffablereasons: At the beginning of January I had a slip and fall accident that dislocated my right kneecap, which meant I had to wear a full-leg immobilizer and use crutches for a month, followed by several weeks of PT. This was a major set-back and a painful, difficult start to the year, though I'm very happy it wasn't more serious. The Good News is: I had my follow-up visit with my doctor today, and I have been cleared with a clean bill of health! Full recovery - with normal range of motion, no more swelling, and increasing strength - has been achieved! I'm very grateful to my family and my friends for helping me through it, I really could not have managed without their love and support.
And because I'm like this as a person, here's a picture of my darcydog! she's a beautiful good girl who has been working very hard to protect me and my knee these past few weeks, and I love her very much.
goromcom: So glad to hear about your recovery, and just LOOK at that doggo!
And for the rest of us, make sure to watch for the GO adapation of French Kiss, coming soon!
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So! Another movie adaptation review. This time, I’m doing (*insert drumroll here*)...
PRINCE OF PERSIA: THE SANDS OF TIME!
(This movie was recently added to Disney+ btw. Guess they finally remembered that it existed...I opted to not pay like Speed Racer though. Yo ho yo ho, a pirate’s life for me...)
It’s based on the Prince of Persia series (the Sands of Time Trilogy, not the two originals or the 2008 remake). So Disney got the rights to make this movie way back in...
2004? The movie came out six years later!
Anyway, they got the rights at that point. The producer apparantly worked on Pirates of the Carribean, so they decided to try and make a PotC esque franchise by taking cool elements from the source and making a good movie from it (though this time it was a game instead of a theme park ride). They also changed some stuff for the release date in hopes of launching a such a franchise afterwards.
So did they succeed?
Haven’t seen development for a second movie...so...I guess not. Come to think of it, outside of a likely mediocre VR game, there’s been nothing new for Prinxe of Persia in Ren years since the release of this movie and forgotten sands...
But I’m not here to discuss the issues of loosing what could have possibly-maybe-not really been another great franchise like Pirates’. I’m here to discuss whether or not it’s actually a terrible movie as many say it is.
This time, I’m going to try to break it down to pieces for the purposes of being comprehensible and sounding like I know what the fuck I’m talking about rather than just giving a likely subjective opinion...
ANYWAY LET’S GET TO IT!
1. THE STORY (spoilers ahead)
If you went to this movie believeing it would try to exactly copy the story of the first game, then I’ve absolutely no idea what to tell you. So I guess I’ll make a list of similarities and differences about such things
Similarities:
Persian Prince attacks city, gets Dagger, saves princess, runs from bad guys, fights bad guy, gets sent back in time to the start of the game (or movie in this case) and prevents the villain’s plan from ever really getting off the ground to begin with.
Said Prince is good at parkour and swordfighting.
Unfortunately, Princess doesn’t do much outside of being eye candy, occasionally share exposition, and take the Dagger from the Prince at one point (could they seriously not make her, like, be at least able to fight well? C’mon Disney, if you wanted to make this movie discount pirates, at least make the female lead more like Elizabeth and less like Sleeping Beauty!)
The King dies and then un-dies when the timeline gets reset or whatever
And now Differences! First, I will say that I understand some of these had to be made to adjust to the new medium (video games and movies aren’t experienced the same way, after all), but I’m still going to list them
The Prince has a name: Dastan.
He has two brothers, Tus and Garsiv
His uncle is the revealed villain instead of some random no-name Vizer
The movie is mostly in the desert city of Alamut and some nearby desert-y areas of Persia while the game takes place in India
The Princess’s name is Tamina instead of Farah
A lot of the side peoples like the Hassansins, Seso, and Sheik Amar were added to the movie
The Prince doesn’t release the Sands of Time in the start of the story. Instead it only happens in the Third Act
So, I’d say overall there was an alright job at changing the story to fit a movie setting more. You can’t really have a character that has much more human interactions as opposed to just parkour and fighting sand monsters not have some sort of name. The side characters help to establish decent side parts to the story.
Overall, I think the story is...okay. It’s not amazing, but I think it gets the job done in a reasonable fashion.
2. THE CHARACTERS
Now for the other important part. Before I get into the performance, I will say I’m disappointed in yet another instance of whitewashing in Hollywood. I would’ve definitely liked it if they could’ve avoided this issue, but for now I’ll tick off points for that and discuss the performances.
Jake Gyllenhaal does a pretty great job as Dastan. He’s a dashing rogue with some good lines and generally sells his performance pretty well despite the mediocre plot and story.
Ben Kingsley does a good job as the traitor uncle Nizam. While he’s not always as threatening as, say, the Hassansins, he does certainly have his moments in the film and his motivations are hinted at early in and make sense.
Richard Coyle’s Tus (left) and Toby Kebbell’s Garsiv (right) are mediocre. They’re not as interesting as Dastan or some other characters I’ll mention later, but I will say Tus as a character seemed a lot better and more fleshed out for the most part than Garsiv.
Tamina. Already said she’s a missed opportunity for a badass female lead. However, Gemma Arterton makes most of her interactions with Dastan pretty believable and I’ll admit that her attempts at trying to get the Dagger of Time back from The Prince are pretty neat and she almost succeeds two out of four times (actually nearly killed him in one of them, but he gets saved by:
Yeah, I know it’s a dead meme, but you get the idea.
And lastly, one of my personal favorite performances in the movie, Alfred Molina as Sheik Amar and Steve Toussaint as Seso. They’re not in the movie very long, but I have to say that they’re both my favorites in their own way. Molina’s Amar is quite funny and bizarre and makes for an entertaining supporting character, and despite the unfortunately limited speaking and screen time for Seso, his skill and general badassary are portrayed well.
I’d say most of the characters were good despite the many missed opportunities for the characters and the whitewashing issue. So! I’ll wrap up with a discussion on the effects and action (but not music. The soundtrack was pretty generic imo.)
3. THE ACTION AND EFFECTS
This is definitely the highlight of the film. The action, from the free running to the fights, is all done very well. One of my low key favorite scenes is just before the invasion of Alamut, where Dastan climbs the outer wall. Also, the effects when he rewinds time with the Dagger are amazing. (links aren’t working for me right now so you’ll have to find them yourself.)
Honestly, there’s a lot wrong with this movie between the whitewashing, the not-always-great characters and interactions, and the mediocre plot and soundtrack among other things. However, when this movie does something well, it does it pretty damn well. I think it’s a shame that this movie wasn’t completely able to break the “video game movie” mold, but for what it is, a swashbuckling action adventure movie, it’s good.
7.5/10
Honestly, if I had a decent mike, I could probably make a small YouTube series outta this instead of making a Tumblr essay...
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Les Mis – Sondheim Theatre (New Production) – 28/01/20
** HUGE HUGE SPOILER ALERT! CONSIDER YOURSELF WARNED**
**second disclaimer: it is nearly half midnight and I’ve been on the go since 5:30am, please forgive rambling, meta commentary to myself, and bad grammar. I just wanted to get this all out whilst it was still fresh**
General
YES the new staging was 90% a hit. I liked it. It was great to see Les Mis performed in a radically different way, I think, and enough was kept (like, for example, the basic structure of One Day More) that it didn’t feel totally alien and I didn’t miss the turntable all that much?. The opening scene is now on a ship, rather than in a mine. More on specific stagings below.
THE. SET. WAS. BEAUTIFUL. There is literally no other word for it. The original Les Mis set is quite minimalist, I think, whereas this one was lush – heavily centred on the idea of houses, which really gave more of a feel to the Paris streets. They had tenements and posh houses, the barricade was still huge, don’t worry, and they had a staircase which was in the café and the Thenardiers’ inn, etc. The scale really worked as well – like in Who Am I, the courtroom felt enormous as opposed to the little mobile thing they had before.
A preface to this point is that I don’t think I’m the right person to offer a critical commentary on race & the cast of Les Mis, but I think it is worth flagging – will 100% defer to folks with more experience/expertise. There were four black cast members – Éponine, Gavroche, and two of the chorus, which is way more than I’ve ever seen in the West End in this damn show. I’m under no illusions that Les Mis in the UK hasn’t got a bit of a problem with race. It is slowly inching its way better – when the Bishop came out and he was black right at the beginning I had a moment of “finally? Are they finally doing this right?” but the diversity wasn’t quite as much as I’d hoped. Especially as in my head, I’ve developed a huge, very multi-racial dream cast for the show, so…yeah. I’d love to see some of the characters who always get played by white people played by folks of colour – Enjolras, for example, Grantaire, Valjean himself. Or have both Éponine and Cosette be not white? For once? This would be great? Please let me know what you all think?? (this is West-End specific, I know there have been some productions working on this elsewhere).
The general mood seemed a bit darker? More violent? Perhaps that was the updated lights and set, idk, but more fake blood abounded I felt, and yeah – more actual deliberate fight scenes. It worked, ngl, the world feels like it’s gotten to a darker place, and the new Les Mis reflects that in a way, doesn’t gloss over the violence. Again, I think more thinking will let me know what I actually think about this, but we’ll see.
ONTO SPECIFIC CHARACTERS & SCENES!
Valjean
· Jon Robyns – he was brilliant, like, nearly as good as my holy grail (Killian Donnelly). Voice incredibly on-point – I’ve seen some Valjeans with really harsh voices which I don’t think fits the character – his Bring Him Home started so softly and gently and then really soared (until some twat decided to take a FLASH PHOTOGRAPH of him mid-song, whoever it was should have been ASHAMED of themselves).
· He was so sweet with little Cosette! At the end of the curtain call, he and the actress had their own mini bow and then hugged, and he carried her off into the wings.
· He really made more of Valjean’s physicality than other actors I’ve seen – perhaps to do with staging too – but his and Javert’s interactions were much more physical, violent, and in your face than they have been. It wasn’t OTT on his end I don’t think, but you definitely got the sense that he was trying to rein himself in and that the violence was still there? You know? But ofc NEVER towards Cosette or anyone unlike SOME adaptations I could mention (yes I am still bitter about the BBC trashfire, sorry to anyone who liked it but eh, imho, gross).
· At the end, he and the Bishop have a hug in heaven! It was very sweet!
Javert
· This is the second time I’ve seen Bradley Jaden in the role of Javert and I am a blessed human being (really want to take my Dad to see him too) because he has officially ruined every other Javert for me. Like ever. His characterisation feels very book Javert, very stern and uncompromising but more so than other Javerts, idk, it’s just his sheer stage presence as well, and his facial expressions and his general look…I can’t put my finger on it. He’s just phenomenal.
· Stars was on this beautiful Parisian bridge (fake stone balustrade-style complete with four hanging lanterns) that came down from the flies, incredible backdrop, and he just brought the house down again.
· Ngl – they have him actually holding a legit chain during the Confrontation and maybe I’ve read too much ship fic, but it certainly gives a whole new dimension to the line “Msieur le maire, you’ll wear a different chain!” Also especially as the Confrontation was so much more physical as well, they were properly fighting each other instead of just circling.
· He was much more bloodied at the barricade, and there was this moment where he was being taken offstage as a prisoner and he’s on his knees in front of Enjolras, who’s very blonde hair is all you could see from where I was sitting, and they’re both in a spotlight, and the mood just really reminded me of the dynamic in the fic Les Hommes de la Misericorde by Kchan88 (which is great and you should read if you want to).
· After the barricade, they incorporated that heartbreaking idea from the movie – Gavroche is lying dead in the front of the stage and Javert bends down to shut his eyes and crosses himself. There’s then a total reversal of the moment with Enjolras described above, but I’ll get to that in more detail in the Enjolras section.
· In Javert’s Suicide, he did the complete breakdown thing again – which worked as he actually had blood on his face and long hair loose everywhere from the barricade scenes. Back on the pretty bridge, which split in two and he legit FLEW for the drowning scenes, so was thrashing suspended in midair as the lights and backdrop swirled around and behind him. That was something special.
Fantine
· The one, the only, the Carrie Hope! She played a very understated Fantine? Which…I liked more than I thought I would? Like the voice came out at the end of I Dreamed a Dream, Lovely Ladies etc, but she was so…controlled? It perhaps felt odd after seeing her as Éponine and Veronica in Heathers where she let loose a lot more, but her Fantine just felt a little more mature, a little more resigned?
· Her Fantine also gets put through the bloody wringer, jeez – the fight with the factory woman is much more physical (and when I say more physical, I actually think they were properly choreographed?) and with Bamabatois, who is just as grim but less slimy than the last actor I saw play him?
· I’d kind of almost forgotten about her by the time she came out as a ghost at the end, but that bit was lovely, as it always is.
Éponine
· Shan Ako was a scene stealer. Bloody hell she can sing – she put some pretty riffs in On My Own (small, but noticeable if you know the song) and her belting voice was unbelievable.
· With the new set, you really get a feel of the Gorbeau tenement – she’s hanging around up there a bit. Also in Attack on the Rue Plumet, with the set the way it is (a house with a wrought iron balcony and a door, with the gate and fence extending out towards centre stage) you again get a feel for the scene in the book when Éponine basically says to her father and his gang that they’re dogs but she’s a wolf and she’s not afraid of them because she’s standing guarding the door with her arms wide…yeah, it really worked.
· She and Gavroche are either friends or it’s a subtle nod to their siblinghood, as they fist bump right when Gav introduces Éponine.
· On My Own was a tour de force – second standout of the night after Stars, for me.
· Her A Little Fall of Rain was also gorgeous, and she had a real fizz with Marius, which was cute.
· A rather large niggle – Shan Ako is black, and Young Éponine was white. Perhaps there was a last-minute emergency, but surely they could have got a little black actress to play Young Éponine? Idk, it just bothered me.
Cosette & Marius
· Oh my god, Harry Apps as Marius – he Pontmercied around the place, and was so awkward and adorable! In Éponine’s errand, when he tried to go up the stairs, he banged into the set! During his bit in Red and Black he gets up on the staircase and starts full on declaiming, arms wide etc. His scene with Cosette in Heart Full of Love was gorgeous – he chucks a stone at her window, and she comes out, sees him, and disappears and he’s like “oh god I’m doing everything all wrong” and then she comes hurtling out of the front door instead and then stops and they stare at each other and it’s so cute! And then he’s just so self-conscious for the entire scene? And what’s so interesting is in the reprise at the end and the wedding, he’s so much more sure of himself – I really loved all the little nuances like that?
· He’s also really young! He’s the complete unknown they cast off the open auditions for the UK tour, and he is bloody amazing – totally deserved that!
· Lily Kerhoas was very charming as Cosette. I adore the character, but sometimes actresses play her too girly, which drives me a bit nuts, but she managed to pull off young/innocent/naïve/very soprano with a bit of practicality, heart, and edge. And there was a great moment when she and Éponine are both in the garden after, and getting that look in at each other without the gate in the way was really powerful.
· Cosette and Marius had chemistry! It was lovely!
· Empty Chairs – wow. So basically Turning (my underrated fave) was a range of women dressed in black who leave candles dotted all over the stage. Marius sings Empty Chairs surrounded by them, and (you guessed it) the dead Amis come in and all pick one up and Marius does too, and then they blow them out and leave and Marius is left holding the only lit one and blows it out then raises it like a toast and WOW MY FEELINGS WERE NOT PREPARED.
Gavroche
· This kid STOLE THE SHOW. LITERALLY. He was black too (like Éponine) and they had a proper little thing going, it felt like it really drew on the brother-sister Brick canon. He also felt very book-Gavroche, so cheeky and so serious at times.
· They’ve changed his first set of lyrics in Look Down to be those from the movie, which…sure. Worked.
· OKAY – in The Robbery, when Javert is like “everyone about your business/clear this garbage off the street” everyone scatters APART FROM GAV who’s pootling around behind Javert yelling “go on! You heard the man! Go away, even you!” and then when Javert turns to face him, Gav just does this irreverent little salute and saunters offstage and Javert just…lets him?? It was a FANTASTIC moment.
· At the barricade when Gavroche busts Javert’s disguise, he goes right up to him and on “this only goes to show what little people can do” just cheerfully gives Javert a big old middle finger. Which was SO GREAT.
· When Éponine is dying, he spends most of a little fall of rain loitering next to Marius and not really knowing what to do and my heart just BROKE.
· He and Grantaire had a cute bromance going – after Drink With Me, when Grantaire nonverbally tells Enjolras to go fuck off and goes off to the side of the stage, Gavroche just goes over to him and starts hugging his back, and then they have a cuddle on the side of the stage together for Marius’ solo.
· Because no turntable – Gav didn’t die alone on the other side of the barricade, he makes it just back to the top, gets shot with the bright white light (which they kept) and then just falls over into Enjolras’ arms, who then carries him down the barricade and puts him in Grantaire’s arms who just stands there, centre-stage, cradling a dead Gavroche for a few minutes before lying him down at the front of the stage.
· At the end, Gavroche gets dumped unceremoniously into the cart with dead Enjolras and idk, it’s just a moment.
Enjolras
· Right – instant disclaimer that I am incredibly biased and Hyoie O’Grady is and will forever be my Enjolras and I measure everyone against his performance.
· This guy, Ashley Gilmour, – mostly had the look and the hair and general icy beauty. I was initially disappointed with his voice, but he did grow on me – he just really didn’t have the presence I associate with a great Enjolras. This was especially evident in the speech bits like in Red and Black?. Like, you know they’re not right for the role when you don’t particularly have much to write home about. Maybe I’m being unfair – other people who’ve seen him – what do you think?
· The one bit of changed staging I didn’t like was Do You Hear the People Sing. I think Enjolras being towed around on the cart (which did come back during the beginning of the barricade) gives the song the momentum it needs & deserves? Whereas they were just marching round a staircase they’d shoved in the middle of the stage which Feuilly got up on for his verse, so…
· Aside from a few handclasps, there was basically no E/R. Not even a hug during Drink With Me. It wasn’t even like “no homo” bullshit whatever, it just…didn’t happen. Actors didn’t have chemistry, and it’s a fair reading – this Enjolras read ace/too busy for romance quite strongly, I guess, and also very young, but yeah. After the joy that was Sam Edwards, even a bit more chemistry with Hyoie O’Grady (even though he said he didn’t really like that reading (I think??) which totally fair), and some actors I believe ACTUALLY KISSING OMG in other productions (one Enjolras also wore a Pride sash instead of a revolutionary one in Brazil, I think???) it really wasn’t anything. I would love a cast with an outwardly gay & together E/R, but I think the West End has a while to go before that becomes reality.
· Enjolras’ death: obviously no turntable, end of that iconic spin to reveal him draped across the front of the barricade with his flag. In this version, he basically yeets himself off the front of the barricade very dramatically (there is no other word for it, I promise I’m not using “yeet” gratuitously) and then when Javert comes back after the fall of the barricade, there’s a soldier with the cart from the building of the barricade with a very dead Enjolras on his flag, arms akimbo out the end. Which worked. It was more quiet and understated, but it worked. No complaints from me.
· At the curtain call he gave us a little hand heart, Taylor-Swift-circa-2010 style. It was cute and I should probably stop being a cow.
Les Amis
· They’ll never cast them as diverse as they are in my head (I can only hope one day, perhaps, PLEASE!) but they were a good bunch. Their Feuilly looked more like a Jehan to me, but eh. Again, just no real…buzz. Not in the way I’ve seen them performed before? And I think Les Amis depends on a good Enjolras and a good Grantaire, because as the two main Amis in the musical, they set the tone?
· When the soldiers’ final announcements were happening during the Dawn of Anguish, one of the boys (idk which, they were basically all blonde) was having a very obvious panic attack on the floor by the tables, and one of the others was comforting him and it was like that horrible powerful scene in the 2012 movie and I didn’t like it because it was heartbreaking but it was very effective.
· They all seemed a bit less tolerant of Grantaire, who wasn’t even that disruptive by other actors standards, which I didn’t like?
· Grantaire was, again, eh? Funny, fine, but didn’t have interesting things going for him (like Adam Filipe’s pacifism, for example, or any kind of chemistry with Enjolras) in the way others have done, but it was a solid performance.
The Thenardiers
· Yes, they were great! Master of the House built to Thenardier being given the birthday bumps, which was funny.
· Madame Thenardier’s solo in Master of the House was delivered in the kitchen all by herself as a bitter monologue, rather than the drunken rowdiness you used to get in the old show.
· They were a pretty typical funny Thenardier couple, and I’m getting tired, I might remember some more about them tomorrow.
So yeah. Those are my thoughts. Would love to hear what other people think, and I definitely want to go back and see it again, perhaps with a different cast (a different Enjolras, argh). I’m off to bed, I have class in ten hours. Oops.
#les mis#les miserables#les miserables west end#west end#show notes#les mis notes#sondheim theatre#les miserables 2020#enjolras#grantaire#valjean#javert#bradley jaden fan service#shan ako fan service too#eponine#fantine#carrie hope fletcher#cosette#marius#meta#les mis analysis#les mis musical
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January 2, 2021: Mission: Impossible (Epilogue)
Now, after all of that, I have my opinions about the movie, but I think we need to talk about the franchise first. Not the franchise that came after, but the one that came before. You might have wondered why I was so absolutely pissed about the whole Jim Phelps thing. Well, I’ll explain. Because, while this might not be the worst action movie of all time or anything, MAN, is it a contender for the worst adaptation of all time.
So, without further adieu, let’s talk about:
Jim Phelps
Poor, poor Peter Graves. You may know him from the film Airplane!, as the pilot of the plane, Captain Oveur. But, one of his most iconic roles on TV was as Jim Phelps, the director of IMF from seasons 2 to 7 of the 1966 series, and in the 1988 revival. Phelps was not only the leader of the group, but one of its most prominent and versatile members. Because of this, he’s arguably the most notable person involved in the IMF, and a faithful member, always taking on impossible missions for the greater good.
So, you can imagine how absolutely pissed off the 1996 film made fans of the original, the cast of the original, and Peter Graves himself, when the writers decided to make Jim a straight-up villain, and brought in no other members of the original team. It should be noted that this movie is indeed intended to be a continuation of the original series and its revival. And yes, Peter Graves was asked to reprise his role as Jim Phelps, but turned it down when he found out that Jim Phelps was meant to betray and MURDER IMF. Because, yeah, not cool!
Maybe this was intended to surprise people, including and especially fans of the original series, which did have quite a fanbase at the time. But this had two problems. One, by turning one of the longest lasting heroes of the franchise into a straight-up villain with a Cold War-chip on his shoulder, he immediately is acting extremely out of character as compared to the version of the character that got all of those fans together in the first place. And second, WHAT SURPRISE? As emphatically noted by me, I figured out that Phelps was the villain within the first 5 minutes of runtime. Seriously. IT WASN’T THAT HARD.
Not to mention the fact that the original cast also hated this movie. Greg Morris, who played a character that I think Luther Stickell may be loosely based upon, literally walked out of the theater before the movie was finished, because he was reportedly “disgusted” by what they’d done to Jim. Martin Landau, another original cast member, said that the original plan was to have the entire cast come back, only to get immediately killed off so that Tom Cruise could be the only surviving IMF member, and he was very against that. He also cast shade on the script in the same interview, which is kind of funny.
So, yeah, with all of that said, this is a very bad adaptation. But is it a bad movie? Let’s go over it, shall we?
Cast and Acting
So, yeah, Cruise was Cruise again. But, he was definitely more likable as Ethan Hunt. Although, he also was a little less-defined as a character. I’d wager that that’ll be fixed in later films, but he was blander than Maverick, I’d say. Still, he wasn’t Maverick, so that’s an improvement. Voight as the main villain was...obvious. Sorry, but I’ve seen Voight not act somewhat sinister in any role. Hell, even in National Treasure, I didn’t trust him. Maybe that’s just me; Anaconda was a memorable movie from my childhood, what can I say? Emmanuelle Beart was fine, I suppose. But for me, the stars of the show were Rhames, Reno, and Redgrave. The 3 R’s dripped with charisma and energy in every scene they were in. Redgrave was regularly ravishing, Rhames was remarkably refined, and Reno was roguishly rakish. Right on.
Cast and Acting: 7/10
Plot and Writing
Well...OK, look, the writing in this film is mostly fine. And the plot is mostly (mostly) competent, but...it’s so obvious. IT IS SO OBVIOUS. Even without my Jon Voight-bias, his heel-turn is obvious within 20 minutes. Not hard to figure that out, seriously. And outside of that, this really is just a standard spy flick. It’s nothing really out of the ordinary and spectacular, at all. And that in and of itself definitely doesn’t make it a bad movie. However, it also detracts from the suspense. The significant other pointed out that this may be because I’ve seen movies that came out after this one, and that this film may have been a trope-maker. Which, yes, entirely valid point there. But even then, this film doesn’t go far enough out of the James Bond comfort zone that it’s nestled within. So, yeah, not bad, but also not spectacular. With a very predictable twist.
Plot and Writing: 5/10
Direction and Action
I just, that scene! That ending climax is amazing, seriously! I’ve put it up here in this review, chopped into GIFs, but seriously! Rewatch this scene if you haven’t seen it in a while. And if you haven’t seen this movie, I’m sorry that you’ve been spoiled, but still! Check this scene out! But outside of this scene, how was the movie? Well, first things first, the director was Brian DePalma, the director of Carrie, Scarface, The Untouchables, Carlito’s Way, and Phantom of the Paradise. When you look at his credits, he has a lot of great films under his belt, as well as some mediocre ones. But, he knows what he’s doing with this movie. While it might not bear the most stylish of directorial flourishes, it’s still a hell of a ride. And, in terms of action, this is definitely more of an action movie than Top Gun was. The movie literally cannot work without some of its most suspenseful and iconic physical sequences. Man oh MAN, it’s one hell of a ride throughout. So, yeah, this category is getting a high score. A perfect score? No. Like I said, not too many directorial flourishes that I really noticed. Excellent directing, but not 10/10.
Direction and Action: 9/10
Costume and Set Design
This was pretty good, honestly. Some character outfits stood out to me (Rhames in particular), and the set pieces that were present were great! The train-copter-Chunnel scene obviously stands out, as well as the fish tank scene in the beginning. Not much to say for this one, in truth.
Costume and Set Design: 8/10
youtube
Music
OK, so, here’s the thing about the M:I theme song. I VASTLY prefer the original version. Honestly, Danny Elfman is a competent composer and all (if not a bit overused and overexposed), but Lalo Schifrin’s song is so timeless that the update in the movie, in my opinion, actually kind of ruins the original. And given that I genuinely don’t remember most of the music in the movie outside of the theme song...yeah, this one weirdly isn’t going to get a high grade from me. All points go to Lalo Schifrin. Sorry, Danny Elfman.
Music: 5/10
And there you have it, Mission: Impossible (1996). Tallying up the scores, that’s a 34/50, leaving us with a 68%. And yeah, that sounds about right to me. Seriously, this is a by-the-books spy film, and I got exactly what I expected from it. Well, mostly. I expected a better plot and twist, and a better mystery. I got a much worse one. But I DID NOT expect the action, especially the climax. And yeah, that ending scene alone is worth the price of admission. Might make me sound shallow, but MAN, it was cool. Do I recommend this movie? I recommend scenes from this movie, at the very least. But, if you watch it, you’ll get about what you expected: a spy movie starring Tom Cruise and an obvious twist.
OK, that’s enough of Tom Cruise for one month (maybe for one year, let’s be honest). What about another iconic action film star of the ‘80s and ‘90s? I’ve seen a lot of Schwarzenegger (and the movies of his I haven’t seen will feature later this year), so...what about Stallone? Not Rocky, though; that’ll be for sports month. And First Blood is...we’ll see about First Blood. OH! Got it!
January 3, 2021: Cliffhanger
#mission: impossible#mission impossible#mission impossible 1#mission: impossible 1#m:i#mi#m:i 1#mi 1#tom cruise#ethan hunt#jon voight#peter graves#jim phelps#emmanuelle beart#claire phelps#ving rhames#luther stickell#jean reno#franz kreiger#vanessa redgrave#max#henry czerny#action#spy#action movie#spy movie#action genre#movie#movies#action january
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House of Mouse review: “The Three Caballeros” or State of Your Outfit Donald
The Ride of the Three Caballeros continues, and with reviewed paid for up until legend, we’re fueled up and ready to ride on for some time now. This admittedly has taken a bit longer than I like to get back on the ride, due to a number of reasons, but i’m back on the ride and these next two were both a pleasure to get to and cover a show that was LONG overdue to show up here: It’s the House of Mouse! For those of you who haven’t heard of it House of Mouse was a Disney show in 2000 that ran on it’s one Saturday morning block, the follow up to the Disney afternoon. It also holds a close place in my heart as these are the versions of Mickey and Co I grew up with, as I had Disney Channel as a kid and they reaired it a LOT, so the show is sorta soaked into my DNA, and is likely the reason why I like Donald and Goofy so much, as their shorts here and their personalities outside them really drew me in. I’ll still be objective mind, but the show means a lot to me and i’m not going to hide that.
The show has a really amazing setup: Mickey and Co run a club for Disney characters. While no tv characters showed up, anyone who had been in the movies was fair game, and everyone from Hades to both forms of Simba somehow to the horned freaking king showed up. The only exceptions were as I said Tv characters, though Pepper Ann makes a cameo in the pilot, and the Pixar characters.. which is more fair than you think. Keep in mind at the time of this series, there were only three Pixar Movies: Toy Story, a Bug’s LIfe and Toy Story 2, which came out the same year as house of mouse. Not only that Pixar wasn’t owned by Disney at the time, so there was likely a fear they could loose the rights to use the characters at some point and thus didn’t want to chance it. But yeah this setting is used for great jokes, it’s the source of the “No one does X like gaston!” meme and it’s funny every time they do that gag. Though the main stars of the show are still mickey and co with each having a fitting position in the club’s hierachy: MIckey and Donald, being equal stars, co-own the club, though Donald sometimes feels overshadowed. Mickey, with his people skills and cheer is the MC and host. Donald, given his jack of all trades nature and butt monkey status, is guest services, in charge of taking care of the club’s featured guests and naturally having it backfire, as well as sometimes envying Mickey’s spot and trying to take it over. Minnie, being level headed, keeps things running, planning the show and managing finaces as well as calming Mickey when he gets panicky. Daisy runs guest services while trying to break out on her own and is somewhat of a ditz in this series, though not overly dumb or incompetent, just a bit of an air head is all, and her sweet bubbly nature makes her very likeable. That and outside the shorts at least, she’s very nice to Donald here and their realtionship is very sweet, hence it being one of the four versions of it I like. Goofy is head waiter, which fits him because.. I dunno they needed one. But he does the job well even if he naturally screws up a bunch because Goofy. Pluto is also around as a personal assitant because eh why not. But what really stood out abotu the show to me, even more so as an adult, was the supporting cast. As a kid, I was introduced to a lot of the disney side characters i’d never heard of before, all of whom get a decent amount of screen time over the series, while as an adult, I find it heartwarming they brought these characters back and fleshed them out after not being used on screen for so long, with one big exception that was still nice of them to use and helps bridge the generation gap.
The rest of the HOM crew consisted of Hoarce, Mickey’s friend who was used a lot early on and who works as the club’s engineer and handyman, Clarabelle, also often forgotten but thoroughly defined here as a loveable gossip and acted wonderfully by the incomparable April Winchell. I credit this show for making me love both characters especially Clarabelle and wanting to see them more.
We also have Gus, a far more obscure on screen character. Gus is Donald’s Cousin, and as of this writing is the ONLY one of Donald’s three majorly used Cousins to have not shown up in the Ducktales reboot. Gus is also the only one whose not a comics original, to my shock, instead showing up in the short “Donald’s Cousin Gus”, communicating only through honks and eating all of Donald’s food. He was naturally adapted for the comics, where while still having a huge appetite became more bossed with being a lazy while working with Grandma Duck, his and Donald’s Grandma. He’s so different between mediums I genuinely forgot he was in this show and didn’t realize he and the chef from this show were the same person. Still it’s nice to see him and hopefully he’ll make the reboot before it ends. Finally rounding out the supporitng cast we have Huey Dewey and Louie, who mostly show up as the quackstreet boys to dance and are kind of inbetween their classic designs and their quack pack versions: They have the hair from quack pack, but seem more like their 12-13, a bit older than standard, but sitll not as old as they are in Quack Pack. They also don’t talk which is a vast improvement over Quack Pack. And finally, and more prominently, we have Max, who as I said bridges the gap between generations and I think was an amazing inclusion. He not only gave younger viewers like me a character they knew better, but allowed the character’s story to continue a bit, clearly taking place after xtreme but having him actually go on a date with Roxanne. Thank you House of Mouse Writers. your doing Golb’s work. Antagonist wise we have Pete, as usual trying to muck things up and presumibly flush with post divorce cash. He’s the club landlord, and wants Mickey out for reasons that are never explained, but as long as the show goes on and Mickey pays rent on time, the show goes on. Being Pete, he naturally tries to sabotage things. It’s a good device. The other is Mortimer, probably the series deepest cut alongside Gus as he only shwoed up in one short but the series easily made him one of my faviorites: A Sleazy asshole who tries to pick up on Minnie (who thankfully this go round is not at all receiptve), tries to get on the card, and constnatly says Ha-Cha-Cha. Maurice LaMarche, this show had a REALLY talented voice cast can you tell?, really owned the character and has been his voice since and really took him from a one dimensional douche to a LOVEABLE asshole.
Granted most of this.. really isn’t relevant as only the main cast show up, but it’s an aspect of the show I like so I went into it anyway. Plus i’ll defintely be coverng the show again so this saves me time for later. Back on point though, the show’s format was a problem of the week, ranging from guest troubles to pete shenigans to internal strife in the club to just general sitcom shenanigans, going on at the club, with shorts inserted in from a previous Mickey Show, Mickey MouseWorks. MouseWorks was a short lived, pun intended, show that didn’t do so good, so they had a bunch of these shorts sitting around including some that never aired on the show, and thus inserted them as cartoons being played for the club patrons. It was a great device and the shorts, while varying in quality , are mostly pretty good and were the first Disney Shorts I saw. It was a good format, allowing the main stories to have plenty of time, but not have to overpad them or anything and with so many shorts on hand they could simply write the story to be as long as they needed and then insert however many shorts were needed. It worked well.
So yeah as you can tell I truly love this show and it introduced a lot of stuff to me. And naturally.. that includes the Three Caballeros here, with their song here being stuck in my head for years and this being the first time they’d shown up in decades... which is ironically how long it took for me to see their movie but regardless. The boys were back, and you can see how the show did with them, under the cut.
Something to note, No Disney Plus this time.. because BAFFLINGNLY the show is not on there, despite no rights issues holding it up I’m aware of, and the show having every other mouse and duck related animated series on there. I know, I’ve talked about this before, even in this very retrospective.. but I keep bringing it up because it’s something you easily forget about. Something that may slip away. But don’t let it. Let them know, and get our shows on there already. Christ. Anyways, due to the show’s format of sliding the shorts in, and to make thing easier on me for house of mouse reviews i’m simply going to do the shorts first, then the main plot. Good? Good.
This one only had two, though it varied on how many they used, and some were just super short shorts anyway, so it all balances out and as I said, i’ts better they just told as much story as was there than tried to rush it. So without further adue...
Donald’s Fish Fry: Poor Poor Humphrey Yeah I didn’t like this one. The premise is using the old character Humphrey the Bear.. only here instead of being the antagonist the ranger present basically bullies the poor bear, while the other bears constnatly get more fish than him when it’s their registered time to fish. It’s just agrvating.. and when the poor boy finally GETS a fish, Donald snatches it. Donald isn’t unsympathetic here, he found the fish fairly.. but it’s hard to tell who we’re supposed to root for here. Humphrey, who just wants what’s his, or Donald whose oblivious but technically in the wrong. This kind of slapstick just.. dosen’t work as well with both sides being sympathetic. It can work with say bugs and daffy, because both are equal, but there’s clearly an antagonistc force in elmer fudd. But this type of shenanigan just dosen’t work when neither side deserves the punishment, and Humphrey did nothing wrong. I felt like this for supporting him the whole time.
And it ends with the ranger getting the fish. Because he wasn’t unlikeable enough clearly. Though Humphrey does get some beans so yay? Also the house segment after has Ranger Dickhead stealing Humphrey’s dinner, which given he’s at the club he CLEARLY paid for because it’s too fatty. Fuck you dude. I hope Goofy threw you out for that one. Just not a fun sit. I’ve seen this kind of shenanigan done better, in disney classic shorts even. I’ve seen Don as the villian better, See Trick or Treat for a good example> There’s just.. nothing here and it goes on forever. This is a good chunk of the episode! Lordy! Just a genuinely bad short. Thankfully the next one while not as word inducing is also not as headache inducing How to Be Smart: Now THESE were my faviorites as a kid. I loved goofy, so shorts about him were no brainer but even now.. these are still funny. Basically a narrator would follow Goofy around while he tries to learn how to do something, in this case how to get smarter after loosing on a gameshow .. and owing the show three milion dollars. There’s not much ot go into, it’s basically a series of jokes about Goofy going to school from elementary to college and learning his way up while Dealing with Ludvig’s bratty nephew and his own stupidity. It’s a funny short and really well done and these are easily some of the show’s best shorts and this is no exception. Unlike the Humphrey short, where this essentially happened.
My soul and I gladly enjoyed How to Be Smart. Dare to NOT be stupid and check this short out.
The Wraparound: And I”m Donald Duck! As for the main segment it’s pretty good. We open with Mickey hyping up tonight’s act, which is naturally the Three Caballeros! But trouble sets in as Donald, while proud at first, is rightfully annoyed that a man on the street segment shows NO ONE remembers he was in the group. Including his best friend goofy. Only Pumba does, somehow. I dunno maybe he dated Panchito once before meating timon. Point is Donald dosen’t take this well, even if we get a nice moment of Daisy swooning over the fact.. even if being HOM Daisy, she can’t get the name right. But given i’ve had trouble spelling it right, I’m one to talk.
So being Donald he overreacts, which I like as.. well it’s Donald. Of course when given a very resonable reason to get upset he takes it a step too far. In this case he’s gotten an army of lawers, refuses to speak to mickey and has put ... THIS on. I showed it at the top of the page but.. well it bears repeating.
It’s like every bad thing about the early 2000′s, from the douchey shades, to the rings, to the golden knuckles, to the hat that looks like a penis, to the no donald logo. There should be all the donalds, ALL OF THEM. He also has an army of lawyers, and naturally resorts to hot doggin and grandstanding: Signing autographs during the show, putting a giant poster of himself up. It works okay, as it makes him unsympathetic for the next part to work and is really funny which is the point. Even if again he looks like the feces that’s produced when shame eats too much stupidity.
Instead of just getting Dale Gribble in there, Mickey is at a loss for a solution till the boys show up and.. it’s a mixed bag. Carlos Alazraqui is excellent as Panchito, slipping into the roll well. Unlike last time the character showed up, they did NOT get a mexican actor, but Carols is still Latino, so it’s still better than what they did for Jose, and still big of them to actually bother to get a Latino actor to play a latino role. Jose on the other hand.. is played, and not very good, by Rob Paulson. And before anyone throws stuff at me, I love Rob. I will be gushing about him when I get around to reviewing the animaniacs reboot. He’s a god among voice actors and I love him. But his voice, at least in this ep dosen’t really .. FIT Jose, and he dosen’t really match the characters energy which is VERY weird given Animaniacs was right before this. The guy can DO energy and it’s one of his best talents. He STILL can as evidenced by both TMNT 2012 and the Animaniacs revival. It’s just not one of his better performances. I love the guy but even gods have off days. And of course there’s the bigger issue of the very white Rob shouldn’t be playing the very Brazilian Jose. Not matching nationatlies is one thing, it sucks, but The Three Cablleros had a much bigger budget than HOM likely did. HOWEVER, it couldn’t of been that hard to find two latino voice actors in 2000, especially when you found at least one. I get this wasn’t as big a thing but when the 1940′s did better than you, you know you screwed up.
But it probably dosen’t help the two.. barely do anything. Despite the episode being named after them, they only show up towards the end and just sorta say hi to mickey, get cool entrances, and then seeing Donald being a dick and Mickeya sking for their help, humble him with their musical number. And the Musical Number IS really good, it’s been in my head for years and is just as catchy as the classic “Three Cabllero’s Song”.. why they didn’t sing that I don’t know, but this original one, a light knockoff of la bamba is still really fun and bouncy and the gags are good. It’s a really good climax and Donald deserves his punishment. The only really issue is the ending, as.. no one leaned anything. No one acknowledges how forgotten Donald felt, Mickey dosen’t seem to get the issue as his “promoting Donald” at the end to make sure he’s not forgotten.. just has a bunch of jabs at his expense, and Donald dosen’t apologize..t hougH daisy is really sweet to him so we got some Donsy at least. It’s just a weak ending to an otherwise excellent wraparound. Final Thoughts: This one was.. okay. Shorts aside, i’ve said my peace about them, the wraparound is a lot of fun, as is the musical number, even if the “artist formerly known as” joke was played out even in 2000. I mean yeas Prince changing his name to a symbol was insane, I get that.. but by then everyone had clowned on that decision and given he did so in a bizarre act of defiance towards his label, at a time where we now know how scummy record labels can be, it hasn’t aged well. It’s just the weak climax, song not included, really drags things down. The Cabs are just.. a cameo in their own damn episode, even with the full musical number and could’ve been around more. They don’t get to show off personalities or really do anything but teach Donald a lesson and are basically one indivdiual here. It sticks out even more because Rosa had both be utterly distinct and showed the utmost care while here.. their just sorta tossed in so they could have Donald be a primadona.. which itself is funny but on the whole this episode was just.. disappointing to revisit. It was disheartening to learn one of my favorite episodes as a kid wasn’t that good. It is worth checking out if you like Donald or the cabs, provided you skip the first short. Trust me, trust me, but is far from the best the house of mouse has to offer and hopefully the next one will show that. Next time when the Ride continues, my gig at the house of mouse gets held over another night as Jose teaches Goofy manners and Panchito helps deprogram him from that. Before that I hope to get to the next chapter of life and times and some other stuff i’ve had hanging, including the next loud house and the next part of the tomtropsective, as well as some new things that have come up like said review of the animaniacs reboot and a review of Adventure Time: Distant Lands, Obsidan. Until then if you liked this review, please check out my other pages for more, follow me to see them, and if you’d like to comission your own, just hit me up in my ask box for my discord or personal message me here on tumblr. Until then, ther’es always another rainbow. I’m out.
#The Three Caballeros#the ride of the three caballeros#house of mouse#donald duck#Jose Carioca#panchito pistoles#mickey mouse#minnie mouse#goofy goof#gus goose#daisy duck#the 2000s
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no pressure if you're busy but i was wondering - is titans good? or is it more a show where you're like it's not /good/ but i like it? i thought it looked interesting but then everyone was so negative about it i kind of got put off. And then your (really excellent btw) video resparked why i thought it'd be interesting to watch in the first place. thanks!
I haven’t paid a ton of attention to what fans have said about Titans, although I’m aware that there’s a general negative vibe around it. I suspect that whether Titans is worth watching for you depends a whole lot on what you want out of Titans.
I went into the show having never read a DC comic in my life. I was coming off of a week-long Wikipedia binge on Batman and his associated characters—the Robins, the Batgirls, some dude named Signal—and was talking to @thirdblindmouse about how it had become overwhelmingly clear to me that we’ve been doing Batman all wrong for decades, and the way to tell the story is as an ensemble family drama about intergenerational trauma. And she was like, “Uh, have you seen Titans?” So all of my pre-existing understanding of the characters comes from Google and selected comics scans.
I suspect that the show’s interpretation of Dick Grayson, in particular, is... skewed? I’m almost certain, based on scans of comics I’ve seen/the half a season of Teen Titans I watched a lifetime ago, that its interpretation of Starfire is highly nontraditional. There are certain storylines that I know they’re adapting, but like, they are playing very loose with the adaptation of even some of the characters’ basic personalities. (I’m pretty sure—again, not really a DC comics fan!)
So if you’re very committed to a generally cheerful Dick Grayson, Titans will not give you that. If you have a vision of Batman as a generally decent man, Titans will really not give you that. In general, I think that the show would be better if it erred more towards a lighter tone for Dick—there are moments where he has shades of Quentin in season three of The Magicians, when Q was kind of endearingly hapless, and the show is better for it. But I think it earns its ambivalent stance on Batman, and uses it well. Batman in Titans looks and acts like your dad whose office you’re not allowed into. And Titans!Starfire is really amazing. Like, Anna-Diop-is-a-revelation, fuck-now-you’ve-got-me-shipping-against-my-will amazing.
The bigger issue that Titans has—and this is not unrelated to Dick’s characterization, I guess—is its relationship with violence. Titans is a really violent show, especially in its first season, and it’s off-putting. Pretty much every superhero show involves the heroes beating up bad guys; not every superhero show involves the protagonist mutilating someone in the course of a fight.
This is not unthinking hyperviolence. Titans (which is actually annoyingly pretty good about tracking character through action sequences) is trying to make a point: The compounding traumas of Dick’s childhood resulted in an explosion of rage. Batman funneled his anger into Dick; Dick funnels his anger into whatever bad guy he’s fighting. The show isn’t subtle about this idea. Dick says it out loud several times. Nor (after the first fight) does the show endorse Dick’s over-the-top violence. Everyone from Donna Troy to Dick himself remarks on it with, at minimum, concern. And over time, Dick’s fighting style changes; he consciously leaves the hyperviolence behind, until his final fight of season two is primarily evasive.
But Dick is not the only Titans character who is working out his rage on the criminals he apprehends, and the show is considerably less coherent in its tonal approach to other characters’ violence. Hank and Dawn—the masked hero team Hawk and Dove—have an origin story that plays out like the the backstory of a serial killer couple, their interlocking trauma and rage and grief finding expression and acceptance in each other. The show is aware of the dynamic, but it’s not clear that it’s aware of how disturbing it is. Hank and Dawn are, primarily, people who need to cause violence in order to be at peace in their own heads—and only secondarily, people who want to protect others from danger. Season two does do some work exploring this idea, but the exploration is confused by the fact that, in the end, the show wants both of them on the cast.
Which is kind of the problem with any superhero show that sets out to explore the ethics of superheroism—at the end of the day, the characters aren’t gonna retire to Wisconsin, you know? So Titans presents hyperviolence, presents it as problematic (sometimes), presents it as almost an inevitable consequence of traumatized teenagers deciding to pursue vigilante justice... and then builds a superhero team of traumatized teenagers and young adults. As is its basic conceit.
And on a more fundamental level, the hyperviolence just sort of makes the show feel very grim. It’s already an aesthetically dark show, a lot of the time, and then you’ve got people getting mutilated, and Batman’s an asshole and Dick Grayson’s got anger management issues, and it feels like the show’s grimdark.
I don’t think it is, though. First of all, despite everything, Titans actually has a sense of humor, both in general and occasionally about itself—I mean, it’s not Legends of Tomorrow, but it understands how to crack a smile every now and then. (They have a superdog. He shoots lasers out of his eyes!) But more importantly, at the end of the day, Titans is hopeful. Yeah, it’s a show about anger and violence and intergenerational trauma—but it’s more specifically about moving beyond those things. At its heart, it’s about being a better parent to your children than your parents were to you.
That central relationship between Dick and Rachel—Dick trying, and sometimes failing, but always caring and trying to be better for Rachel, and Rachel’s absolute fury with him when he fails, but her unshakeable devotion to him for being there, the unbelievable amount of sway he holds in her world—that’s what makes the show work for me. There are other vital relationships, too—Rachel and Kory, especially, but also all of the pseudo-familial relationships built up between all of the characters—but it all comes back to Dick and Rachel.
I mean, it’s a found family show. So much so that in season two, there are like, three separate speeches about how this is a family, not one of those stupid biological families, but a family we found, and isn’t that the important kind? And how grimdark can a found family show really be?
The other thing that might throw some people off—but which is actually one of my favorite things about the show—is the structure. If you take a look at the Titans episode list, you’ll see that roughly 75 percent of the episodes are named after a character or characters. Season one of Titans is basically about Dick, Starfire, Gar, and Rachel (Raven from the comics) traveling the midwest, picking up the people who will eventually form the main Titans team. When they encounter those people, they get a spotlight episode. So in episode two, “Hawk and Dove,” when Dick and Rachel lay low at Hank and Dawn’s, the episode starts out with an extended cold open, entirely disconnected from the main characters, just introducing us to Hank and Dawn as characters. Episode eight, “Donna Troy,” sees Dick go to visit his old friend Donna in Milwaukee, and... basically just hang out with her for half the episode, while the rest of the cast does plot stuff. Occasionally, these spotlight episodes stop the plot completely: Towards the end of season one, an episode ends on a cliffhanger. the next episode, rather than showing the outcome of the cliffhanger, is “Hank and Dawn,” an episode that flashes back to show the story of how Hank and Dawn met and became masked heroes. (There’s an in-episode device that eventually makes it clear why this story is related to the cliffhanger.) Season two uses the cliffhanger-into-a-flashback-spotlight-episode structure two more times, once with a character we’ve never met before.
I can see this being deeply frustrating to a viewer watching week-by-week (and I would not recommend watching Titans in that manner). And it’s certainly an unconventional way to structure a season of television. But honestly? I think it’s half of what I like about the show. The spotlight and flashback episodes are good—often some of the best the show’s produced. They don’t stop the plot for no reason; in season two, in particular, they provide context and backstory and characterization in a way that would be almost impossible to do, or to do so well, without the space of a full episode. They make the show more episodic than it would otherwise be—always a joy, in a television landscape full of 10-hour movies—and give it space to experiment with tone and genre. They make the characters richer, and the relationships more complex.
Does it slow down the plot? Absolutely. But Titans is not overflowing with complex plot, and I don’t really think it should try to. The plot of Titans hangs together juuuuuuuust enough to make the themes and characters and relationships work. It’s coherent—we’re not talking Teen Wolf, here—but it’s not brilliant, and honestly, that’s fine by me. But I suppose if you want your plot to be really good, this may not be the show for you.
Finally, I’ll say that Titans, though not what I would call a feminist show (it has a primarily male writing staff and I think it shows) does have a kind of surprisingly large female cast? I wanna say it’s five men, five women, by the end of season two? (Yeah, it’s a fucking enormous cast.) And the women have actual relationships with each other, ones that the show puts some effort into maintaining and remembering. I realize this is damning with faint praise, but honestly I’d just expected a show like Titans to not do that, and was prepared to ignore it, and was kind of pleasantly surprised when I didn’t have to.
In summary: I told my sister that Titans is 10% men in spandex standing on cars, 30% team as family, 30% intergenerational trauma, 20% an uncomfortable relationship with is own hyperviolence, and 10% Krypto the Superdog. I think that tracks. That show, despite having Anna Diop’s glowing presence, has a lot of flaws, but it also really worked for me on some soul-deep level. I am exactly on its wavelength.
I do not think that Titans is a fantastic television show, but I also don’t think it’s a very bad one. I think it’s generally competent show that is very interesting in some aspects, is weak in some areas, falls prey to some inherent trappings of its genre, is thoughtful about familial trauma, is not thoughtful enough about violence and criminal justice, has a lot of very compelling performances, is really poorly lit a lot of the time, pays a lot of attention to its visual language, kind of thinks Batman’s an asshole, and has Krypto the Superdog. It really worked for me; I can see why others might not be into it; it might work for you!
#thank you for giving me this opportunity to talk about titans#a show that has EATEN MY BRAIN#titans#meta
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Top ten favorite nddp adaptations GO (yes u have to rank them)✨
10. La Esmeralda (1844 ballet). This I would argue is the longest running and most performed and enduring stage version. Deadass. I actually kinda like it. I like to consider it the story of Hugo’s opera libretto except...good. It’s corny, melodramatic, and white washed from the book, but it works for the narrative and medium. There’s a 1994 production on YouTube and the scene where Esmeralda chases gringoire with a spoon is a delight. However the middle portion, with the nobles, while the most important and relevant for ballet fans, bores me to tears. The opening and ending are almost like pantomimes and that’s so cool to me.
9. Paul Foucher’s stage play. A faithful, and actuslly pretty decent play from the 1800s. Some scenes are a bit confusing and there are too many characters, but it is a good enough adaptation that I love researching. Highly obscured, I only found an English translation in a book of Frankenstein/Quasimodo fan fiction. Seriously! Also for some reason a children’s theatre in Italy has been performing this play constantly since like 2015???? What!
8. 1977. When viewed as a movie or even a made for TV movie it falls pretty flat, with terrible production values at times. Notre Dame isn’t a set, it’s a DRAWING. However, when viewed as what it actually is (I think) a “bbc tv play” it’s actually very good. I would love to see what this script would look like on stage, where I think it would work better, especially for the clumsy acting. Kenneth Haigh is the cheesiest Frollo ever, far from menacing, but very amusing. Quasimodo and Esmeralda, while not bad, aren’t super compelling. Gringoire and Jehan are fantastic, though the latter is a major flaw. Jehan is kinda the main character? He literally steals scenes from other characters, which I think should have been cut. Maybe I’ll do a fan edit of this version some time.
7. 1956. Not a great film, and it’s biggest flaw is it’s poor characterization, especially from the three protagonists. While the first color/widescreen version, it’s look is flat and uninspired, partly I assume because it was simultaneously filmed in two languages. However, unlike the Spanish version of Dracula (1931) the French version of this movie isn’t some stylistic masterpiece that trumps that American one into oblivion. One is less censored and has a few extra scenes and doesn’t have awkward dubbing so there’s that. There are some great scenes in this forgettable film, such as Quasi and Esmeralda in the tower (stolen from 1939 but done well), the alternation of the Anaykh scene so it is dramatic instead of comedic, and in the American version there is the greatest quote of all time:
“The booby wants to know where he is”
6. 1923. Lon Chaney is the highlight of this monumentally important film. However, while the first half hour is incredible, the middle hour is lacking for me. Much of the melodrama between Phoebus and Esmeralda, and the conflict that instills in Clopin, are pretty boring. Jehan is a weak villain and there are certain plot elements that go nowhere, such as that of Gudule.
5. 1911. A thirty minute silent film that was only rediscovered and made widely availible last year. Not only is it true to the novel, but it is able to tell it’s story and convey the emotions of the characters predominantly through visuals and body language. Unlike the 1923 film, there is not an over reliance on title cards. The ending also is amazing, probably the most horrific death for Frollo in any adaptation. You actually see him land on the ground and die- I have no idea how that was achieved without special effects.
4. (There is no 4)
3. Disney’s The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996). A clumsy, overwritten movie that had too many cooks in the kitchen. Nevertheless, the film is a visual and auditory masterpiece, on a scale and dealing with subject matter never before and never since dealt with in a Disney animated film. The gargoyles and especially the random cutaway gags (the merry chase Scene) serve to harm the tone. Most of the issues were actually addressed in the 1999 German stage version, and made much worse in the 2014 off broadway version. This version is special bc it got me into hunchback and helped me meet a very personal friend of mine.
2. Parizes Dievmates Katedrale. An obscure (outside of its native country) Latvian opera from 1997. Not only incredibly faithful to the novel, it has amazing music and a bizarre horror undertone to it all, and the piece is oddly...sexual? but in the least sexy way possible. Very Eastern European as well. Cruel, disturbing, romantic, and hilarious, I wish this version was more well known. The only real weakness is the first scene, which gives an origin to Quasimodo’s mother and is rather boring. I would love to see it translated into English.
1. 1939. The definitive cinema version, and a rather loose adaptation. Well directed and acted throughout, it is a masterpiece of the studio era. Phenomenal sets, costumes, and especially music from Alfred Newman. It’s themes of words over force, reason vs “stupid superstition and prejudice” and a heartbreaking portrayal of Quasimodo make this film unforgettable. A huge inspiration for the Disney movie by the way, so for fans of that version, this is a must see
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After watching the live action Kim Possible movie:
Don’t mess with a good tv show
Please
Why did they get rid of Kim being a cheerleader and replace it with soccer? (Yeah I know she said she wanted to try out for cheer and Bonnie told her they were all about soccer in high school, but the whole sport trading thing was just weird they should’ve stuck with cheerleading, that’s what made Kim Possible so amazing) She was a cheerleader NOT a soccer player
Also, where was Monique? Okay I know that the movie is set in their freshman year of high school and they didn’t meet Monique until like, the 2nd season of the show, but still, she was Kim’s best friend aside from Ron. And instead they replaced her with Athena who was so obviously a robot, like I saw that coming from the moment she started fangirling over Kim (although I don’t blame her I mean Athena gave off major queer vibes and if she wasn’t an evil robot designed by Drakken she definitely would’ve just been a gay in denial with a crush on Kim. Who doesn’t have a crush on Kim though I mean she’s smart and talented and kind and pretty...)
And at first I didn’t like that they changed up Drakken so much, I mean, where was his iconic spiky ponytail? Where was the blue skin? But admittedly, the new look grew on me (if he were closer to my age I might even think he was hot) and they did give him like, super blue looking veins, possibly hinting at future blue skin if there were a sequel??? Or maybe it was just a design choice so that the actor didn’t have to constantly have full blue makeup and I’m reading too much into it
Shego. I am so in love with Shego. She’s GORGEOUS. I loved the look, I didn’t even care that she wasn’t pale green. She was amazing. She looked perfect, the acting, the personality was on POINT she was just a fucking masterpiece. A work of art. I am gay.
I loved Ron, his voice was so close to the original that sometimes when I looked away from the screen and he started talking, I could actually picture the original Ron speaking. He was amazing, not perfect, but pretty dang good. Also I think I’m gay for Ron (wait is that weird to say since I’m technically almost 18 and he’s canonically a freshman in the movie? I mean I felt the same about cartoon Ron and he was also canonically in high school but by the end of the show he was an adult and that’s kind of when I started to have queer feelings for him so does that make it okay since he was a senior and I’m a senior or am I just making excuses for myself?? I’m probably worrying too much about this since it’s a fictional character and our age difference isn’t even that far off but I still kinda feel weird about it soo...). Or maybe it’s just that I want to be Ron. I’m not entirely sure. But I’ve definitely got some sort of queer feelings going on for Ron
Kim herself could’ve been better. I liked the look, though her eyes definitely weren’t as green as they were in the show but that’s just a cartoon-to-real-life thing and I have to deal with it. Her acting wasn’t as good as Ron or Shego and I’m a little disappointed in that but I don’t blame the actress, I imagine it’s very difficult to play a girl who is simultaneously one of the most girly girls on the planet, and a tomboyish superhero and I definitely could not have done it so considering all things I’m sure the actress did the best she could. I think my main problem is that the movie was so short compared to the tv show (obviously they can’t cram 4 seasons of character development into an hour an a half) but we didn’t really get to know Kim. She gave her brief narration at the beginning of the movie that kinda-sort of explained how she got into the hero business but it was like, 1 minute of explanation mixed with fighting and explosions so that’s not much character background to go off of which means you only really know Kim if you’ve already seen the show, but even then this is set before the show (obviously since they’re just starting high school whereas in the show they’re already in high school and seem to be fairly familiar with the building which means they’re not freshmen). Overall I think her characterization could’ve been better. She’s not as fleshed-out as she was in the show, and I understand it’s hard to translate a tv show into a movie, like I said earlier in this paragraph, but I’ve seen it done before and this definitely could’ve been done better. (Although it’s still not the worst movie adaptation I’ve seen, I’m looking at you Percy Jackson)
We didn’t get to see much of the tweebs which was kinda disappointing, I loved their antics (and helpfulness) in the show, and in the movie we don’t get any of that. They’re just background characters. I did like that they were played by actual twins though, it’s like Fred and George. Actual twins just play twins better than everyone else
I absolutely LOVED Nana. She wasn’t in the show much, but she was very present in the movie and I enjoyed it. However, if we’re taking the movie as a prequel to the show (and based on the time placement of everything, I’m taking it as a prequel) then that would mean Kim already knew about Nana’s awesome fighting skills before the episode where we meet her, and that would mean that Kim would’ve had to forget about her Nana’s awesomeness and no one thought it was a problem that needed fixed. Maybe Nana asked Kim’s mom to do a little forced brain surgery to get rid of the memory? But that doesn’t make any sense, since in both the movie and the show, Nana doesn’t seem to have a problem with Kim knowing about her skills. So yeah, that bit bugs me, but overall, 10/10 loved Nana
I actually only have one other problem with this movie (other than the fact that a lot of Kim’s lines were super cheesy(and not the yummy naco kind of cheese))
In the show they clearly state MULTIPLE TIMES that Ron bought Rufus at Smarty Mart because his dad has allergies and so he wasn’t allowed to have any pets with hair/fur
But in the movie, Ron just takes Rufus from the lab where they fight Shego. He stole Rufus. And sure, you could say that Ron saved Rufus from whatever experiments might have been done on him if Ron hadn’t taken him, but then what about all the other helpless animals huh? They’re gonna get experimented on and no one seems to care about that. I want answers. Either stick to the original canonity of Ron buying Rufus from Smarty Mart, or have Ron save all the animals from potentially horrible experimentation, even the electric eels, I will not allow exceptions. It just didn’t make any sense for them to change the Rufus-Ron relationship backstory. There was no need to change it. It made perfect sense in the show. It made no sense in the movie. I rest my case.
The movie in general wasn’t terrible I suppose, but as I’ve said multiple times in this post, it could’ve been better. There was so much potential and they screwed it up. But as a stand-alone film, loosely based off a perfect tv show, it was pretty good
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2019 Writing review
Gacked (because I’ve been posting on dreamwidth and I’m feeling fannishly old-fashioned) with a tweak or two, from @nire-the-mithridatist and @agirlnamedkeith
Total number of completed stories: 25 (not including various ficlets and prompt fills that have been collected together as one work)
Total number of WIPs started this year and still WIPs: 3
Total word count: 227,381 published words
Fandoms written in: The break-down of my writing fandoms for the year goes like this:
1. Frederica - Georgette Heyer: one 100 word drabble 2. A Countess Below Stairs - Eva Ibbotson: one 13,727 word Yuletide fic 3. Game of Thrones: 27 works totalling 214,004 words
Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d expected? Let’s put it this way: in 2018 I posted NOTHING. Apart from a brief burst of activity from late 2016 to mid 2017, I had written NO fanfic in four years. I’d reached the point where I thought I might not ever write fanfic again.
I expected this year to be the same as last year in terms of fic. I wrote a hundred word drabble last January, and I thought that would be it. And it was, until Game of Thrones finished at the end of May. I started writing the day after the finale aired, because I couldn’t NOT write, and I’ve barely stopped since.
I’ve written ALMOST (hey, I’m a writer, not a mathematician) a quarter of a million words in seven months. This has never happened to me before in the 20 years since I first started writing fanfic. I’ve never been well enough to do that before. I’ve never written anything like that much in a year, let alone in seven months. But right about the time I started writing again, I also made a few small, but what turned out to be hugely significant changes to my treatment regime. It turns out that when I”m feeling really inspired AND health crashes don’t get in the way of my writing momentum... I just keep going.
What’s your own favorite story of the year? I don’t think I can pick just one. There’s a couple that are favourites for different reasons. More Than a Memory is special because it was the story that broke my writing drought and wouldn’t let me stop until it was done. I’m also very fond of Beloved, because it’s a particular type of story similar to others that I’ve written in the past, and I was glad to find I hadn’t lost my touch with that sort of thing. And I’ll also include the Aussie Coffee ‘verse in this list, because right now it’s very close to being the longest thing I’ve ever written, and I’m just amazed that I’ve been able to write something like that at all. And there’s my Regency, You I Know, which is the story of my heart that I’ve been wanting to write, in whatever fandom, for YEARS... Am I allowed to have four favourites? Too bad. I do.
Did you take any writing risks this year? I’m never entirely sure what a writing risk is. I’ve written so many things over the years that could be seen as risky from some perspectives that I don’t really think like that. I just write. I suppose starting out in a new fandom writing a story where one half of the main pairing was dead was maybe a little risky. I was honestly surprised that anyone read More Than a Memory, given the premise. I’m not sure that I’d call the Aussie Coffee ‘verse a risk, exactly, but it certainly turned out to be a bit like my own personal accidental Everest. I thought I was writing a series of loosely connected ficlets, but they turned out to be an epic length modern AU instead. The risk with that one is that I did it without a firm outline - at least at first. Once I got a little way into it, I realised what it was and hammered out the shape of it in my head - guided by Writer’s Month prompts, since that’s what it had originally been intended for - but it still feels a little like I’m writing by the seat of my pants.
Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the new year?
Fanfic goals:
1. Finish the Aussie Coffee ‘verse (by the end of January if I can possibly manage it). 2. Finish Life’s Not a Song, my Sansa bystander POV fic. (Remember that one? Anyone? My health crashed for most of November and that fic was one of the casualties. I WILL finish it, though.) 3. Once those first two are out of the way, focus on my Regency AU, You I Know, which has been waiting for months now as the Aussie Coffee ‘verse accidentally turned into a behemoth.
Profic goals: Maaaaaaaybe adapt the Aussie Coffee ‘verse into an original novel. We’ll see. @undun-duz is keen to provide art to go with it, which would be fabulous.
Best story of the year? I... don’t know? Maybe Beloved. Yeah, probably Beloved.
Most popular story of the year? By hits, kudos and bookmarks, More Than a Memory. By comments and subscriptions, You I Know. But if you treat the Aussie Coffee ‘verse as one entity, then it has more hits, kudos and comments than anything else.
Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: My fic usually gets plenty of attention, so I don’t really feel like I should be saying that anything is under-appreciated. I feel that maybe some people have grown bored with the Aussie Coffee ‘verse - though, that said, there are also people who are incredibly enthusiastic about it. Readership dropping off as it goes along is the way it goes for most long stories, though, so it’s not anything unusual. I THINK all of it, including the pacing, will make more sense once the final instalments have been written. The plot is about to hit the home straight, so hopefully people will enjoy how the storyline unfolds from here on in.
Most fun story to write: I think the two that made me cackle the most while I was writing were Coffee on the Rocks, which was the very first Coffee ‘verse fic, and After Party, which was my story inspired by the dress that Gwen wore to the Emmys. Oh, and the first chapter of the most recent Coffee ‘verse fic, The Last Day of Christmas, which features the pole.
Most unintentionally telling story: The Aussie Coffee ‘verse, in the sense that it’s set a lot closer to home than anything else I’ve ever written - not just that it’s set in Australia, but that it’s set in the Australia that I know. And it also features bits and pieces of memories from when I was growing up, too. There’s very little of that sort of thing in any of the other fic I’ve written over the years.
Biggest disappointment: That I couldn’t finish Christmas Day in the Coffee ‘verse before actual Christmas Day! It ended up taking 33,000 words over three months to get through Christmas Day. At least I got it done before New Year.
Biggest surprise: That I wrote ALMOST A QUARTER OF A MILLION WORDS in seven months. That one will be very hard to beat ever again.
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